May. 10. 2019 in Process of a Brokenhearted Woman

I ended things with my boyfriend and one of my bestfriends.
Do you know how emotionally, mentally and physically draining this is?
My boyfriend.. well I’ve known I didn’t want to be with him for quite some time now. I’ve told him constantly that I wasn’t happy. He never changed anything. I was very open with him, he knew what I didn’t like and ways we could try to compromise, but he wouldn’t do it. Which proved to me that he just didn’t care enough. The man I am supposed to be with will do all he can to make me smile, and I won’t constantly feel at a loss of whether or not I should be with this person. I miss him being apart of my life. I miss his family’s cooking. I miss his presence. But I am really glad that we didn’t continue on trying to force something that should be natural. I love him. I’ll always care for him, but you’re not for me.
My (best ish) friend.. ha. This story is joke. It’s a joke because this was also a toxic relationship that I knew should have ended a long time ago. You don’t just pick and choose when you want to be there for someone. I understand people have a life. I understand people get busy, you get new friends, you need rest, you need YOU time, you make plans, unexpected things happen all the time. I completely get that. What I don’t get is how you get the mindset of only being there for someone when you want to be and not being a good friend and sticking up for you, even when it is behind your back. You don’t just go around someone when YOU need it. That’s not a friend. You’re treating me as if I am your therapist. And I’m not even getting paid. Not that I have to get paid in order to listen to you and be there for you.. But if you’re going to act like a “friend” and say you’re a “friend” then you need to be a FRIEND.
All in all.. I’ve known for quite some time that it was time for me to let them go.
And if I’m being honest, it feels kind of nice.

Last updated May 15, 2019