May. 08. 2019 in Process of a Brokenhearted Woman

Today is a new day. Today I have realized that I don’t want to check your location or your snapchat constantly. The need to do all of that is starting to ease down..
I made a playlist. It’s a playlist of all the emotions I’m going through.
Emotions: Still being in love with you; It’s your loss that you lost me and you’ll realize that sooner or later; I miss you; I wouldn’t have and haven’t done this shit to you; I should have realized you were going to turn out like this; I love you; I’ll find my someone eventually, my prince charming, my dream guy, my true bestfriend.
I have distractions. But that’s all they are. Distractions. People I talk to, to pass the time. However, I don’t meet up with them. I don’t spend time with them. I realize they are DEFINITELY not what I want to end up with at the end.
What I want is God.
I want more friends.
I want self love.
I want self-worth.
I want God’s unconditional love.
I want to spend time with people and make memories.
I want to make the most of me being single.
I want to spend time with friends and loved ones as well as with god and myself.
You? I wish you could be a part of this journey, but this was honestly your decision. And that’s okay.
I love you. I respect you. (ish) I care for you tremendously. I wish nothing but the best for you. (ish) I’m just angry right now. Maybe not even angry. I am hurt. And that’s okay too.
I love you my wonderboy. I will never forget our good times.
However, it’s time I start keeping in mind all our bad times as well.
Not everything was wonderful, and I need to stop making excuses for how you treat me and talk to me.
I hope you don’t forget us. I love you so much you big dork.
But this time.. I’m realizing I need to choose ME.