April. 29. 2019 in Process of a Brokenhearted Woman

You yelled at me. Full on yelled at me. You got so angry that your head was literally shaking. You got so angry your teeth were grinding. You got so angry you punched your passenger seat and your steering wheel, multiple times. You yelled at me. Cursed at me. Looked at me with big eyes, while pursing your lips, while taking breaths that made your shoulders look like they were pouncing. Why? Because hearing from me that I miss talking to you was that much where you had to let your emotions take FULL ON CONTROL and get that upset. Why else? Because either someone told you this, or you made it up, but you were told that I would keep you away from your brother if it wasn’t for the fact that I was cool with your brother’s girlfriend. I know I didn’t say that, and I would like to tell your family that I am sorry for the misunderstanding, but you said I am not allowed to talk to YOUR family. Which really stung. But you don’t care. You don’t care about anything. You said you don’t care if you talk to me or not. You don’t care if I’m in your life or not. You don’t care that we haven’t talked. You don’t care that this is eating at me. You don’t care since you are living your life.
You don’t care.
The boy I was once so very in love with.
The boy who I am slowly falling out of love with.
I miss you damn-it. I miss you so much, and I wish I could hate you for how you talk to me, how you act with me, how you disrespect me. But if anything, I love you.. so much. I love you and I will be here waiting to be your friend for when you are ready.
But then I think about it.. will I really wait around like Cinderella when you are treating me like a piece of crap? Seriously treating me like I am some kind of begger, who is just waiting for the scraps of whatever you want to give me. I know how I deserve to be treated, and that is with respect and like a human damn-it. You are not entitled to do or say or act however you want, just because you are mad. That’s not cool.
However, I am not one to give up on people because they don’t know how to differentiate the two of how to not let your mind take over and to not let your heart take over.
Yell at me how you want, but I promise I won’t let you get away with it forever. You will learn how to talk to me and how not to talk to me.
But we will also get through this. At the end making it as friends.