Amanda in The grotesque metamorphosis of a Bi-Polar human into a Tri-polar monster.

  • April 28, 2019, 7:10 p.m.
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She told me not to write about her anymore, but I can write about whatever I want…that’s kind of the point of having this thing. Buuuuuuuut because I’m a petty bitch sometimes, I decided to make her name the title of the entry.

I guess Amanda had been reading me on here, even though she told me she deleted her diary…which, shouldn’t surprise me, because everything she says to me is a lie. I have no idea why I believed her about that one.

I wrote something about how her boyfriend is cheating on her, and she read it, and now her and her boyfriend are blowing up my other friend, Corie…which I feel bad about, but Corie really should just block both of those stupid cunts.

Trapper (Amanda’s boyfriend…his name is fucking Trapper, hahahaha…what kind of hill-billy, Bud light drinking, cousin-fucking name is that?) used to date Corie so he called her up recently and asked her if she’d cover for him if Amanda asked and say that these panties and bobby pins and perfume in his room were hers from back when they hooked up or something.

They’re not Corie’s…

Anyway, Amanda just left me some note on here telling me not to write about her anymore, and telling me how in love she is and how these have been the best weeks of her life and Trapper would never cheat on her because he gets all the sex he needs, hahaha.

Okay.

I really don’t care, I guess. I was feeling bad for her and like “I’m not mad at her, blah blah blah” but this all made me remember that she can go fuck herself.

The truth of the matter is that she’s a cheater too so they are perfect for eachother.
I hope he gets her pregnant.

Anyway, let us talk about something nice to finish this off, yeah?
Yeah.

So, last night I went and hung out at Lex’s place. We watched a couple of super wholesome movies, this movie called “Tag” and then also “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?”…I think that’s the name of the second one. It was the Mr. Rogers documentary…that man was a living fucking angel. Seriously, he was such an amazing person. So inspirational. So ahead of his time.

So, it really sucks because I’m sitting here pulling a Golnar and I’m just having myself a little crush on Lex and I don’t want to be having a crush on her but I can’t help it.

Every time I see her she tells me how good I look and how hot I am at least a few times, and last night was no exception…but then she says that she just says that stuff to lift me up because she knows that I haven’t heard stuff like that a lot in my life…and last night after she told me that she like slapped/grabbed my ass…

I dunno…it’s confusing because it’s like okay…she just wants to be friends for sure…she’s just being nice and I’m really not used to people being nice to me so I’m just misreading things.

Last night she asked me to move to LA with her. She’s going to sell her mansion and get millions of dollars and she has a financial guy that’s going to help her invest it and live off of the interest and she told me that she would pay the lion’s share of whatever place we get. She said she would only want me to pay $800…like…are you fucking kidding me? $800 to live in mother fucking LA? YES! YES YES YES YES YES YES! That’s fucking insane! That’s like a third of what people are paying up there. But she says she doesn’t want to be up there alone and she’d feel safer if I was up there with her.

But, here’s the biggest problem…so you know how I’ve been complaining about how I don’t really have a sex drive and I don’t get turned on very easily and blah blah blah? Well…last night, at one point Lex and I hugged…and then right afterwards she was like, “Wait, I want another hug!” and it was a super tight hug, right?

Well…I totally fucking got hard just from giving her a hug…

…that’s a fucking problem.

I can’t live with her, right?

I can’t tell her any of this, either, because she doesn’t really have anyone in her life and I really want to be there for her and I don’t want to make things weird and I don’t want to fuck anything up…I just want to be there for her and hang out with her and spend time with her.

I am good at taking feelings and ignoring them.

I mean…I usually use a lot of alcohol to accomplish that goal…

…fuck, this is going to be interesting to see how this pans out.

Every time we hang out, we both talk about how we don’t want a relationship and how we think sex is gross.

I’m really just setting myself up to hurt here.

Fuck.

Also, this crush isn’t new…I just thought I had made it go away. I’ve had this fucking crush on Lex for like two years now.

Double fuck.

I can make it go away again…right?

(On a side note, how do you upload pictures on here? I was trying to upload a picture from my google drive and it wasn’t working, and then I tried to just upload a random picture from the internet to test it out, and I got the same broken link results…so, any help on that end would be much appreciated.)

That’s all.
Speaking of Lex, I need to go get her right now, she has some people coming to look at the house, so we’re going to go hit the beach for a couple of hours.

I’m sure that’s a great idea, that will help the situation a lot, let’s get her in a swim-suit, good thinking Dane.

anyway.
I love you.
Wish me luck.
Pray for me.
Jesus.
-Dane


Last updated April 28, 2019


Deleted user April 28, 2019

LOL got hard ? I thought you were a girl ... I'm pretty sure if you're using that girl's real name and she complains to Josh they'll close your account or warn you about it ... but you don't seem like you'd be deterred by that

🌈 JustWillow 🦄 Deleted user ⋅ April 28, 2019

I wonder how many Amandas there are in the world... It's only first names, probably nothing to worry about. It's not like he doxxed her.

Superposition 🌈 JustWillow 🦄 ⋅ April 29, 2019

There's actually only one Amanda in the world, so what I did was pretty fucking serious and I feel like I should probably be dealt with accordingly. I just pray that the justice is swift and the pain is minimal.

Deleted user Superposition ⋅ April 29, 2019

:D

Superposition Deleted user ⋅ April 29, 2019

I thought I was a girl too.

Deleted user Superposition ⋅ April 29, 2019

luvz it

🌈 JustWillow 🦄 April 28, 2019

I really like this entry. It feels very empowering. I mean, really, fuck that bitch. Sounds like you're cutting out one of those toxic females I mentioned in my other comment a bit ago, and that's a damn good thing. Cut that toxicity out like cancer!

As for the crush on Lex... You have a couple of options here. You could suck it up, bury your feelings, pretend you're not interested, move to LA with her, and let it eat you alive.

Or.

Just tell her how you feel, man. It doesn't matter, at the end of the day, if she runs for the hills. Because, if she does, well at least you know. But what if she doesn't? Don't burden yourself with the never knowing. Take risks! If telling someone you have a crush on them makes them run away from you, they shouldn't have been around in the first place. And they definitely shouldn't be all flirty with you and grabbing your ass?! Oh boy. Anyone in their right mind would take that as a sign that someone is interested.

I'm getting this feeling that these little flirtations may be her feeling you out, so to speak. Be blunt. Tell her you have a crush on her, tell her that her flirtations feel like more than "just friends," and see what she says.

I'm a small-town, mid-west girl, though, so what do I know about California girls?!

Superposition 🌈 JustWillow 🦄 ⋅ April 29, 2019

Haha, yeah California girls are a trip...but, then again, I've moved to some other states and girls just seem to be a trip everywhere you go, because people are just fucking insane, so what are you going to do?

I don't think I'll say anything. Not yet, anyway. Nothing is eating me alive. I actually just really really enjoy spending time with her, so I'm getting all of the awesome benefits that Lex has to offer. My penis just also seems to like her, that's all...but my penis doesn't get everything it wants.

Superposition 🌈 JustWillow 🦄 ⋅ April 29, 2019

Haha, yeah California girls are a trip...but, then again, I've moved to some other states and girls just seem to be a trip everywhere you go, because people are just fucking insane, so what are you going to do?

I don't think I'll say anything. Not yet, anyway. Nothing is eating me alive. I actually just really really enjoy spending time with her, so I'm getting all of the awesome benefits that Lex has to offer. My penis just also seems to like her, that's all...but my penis doesn't get everything it wants.

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