1.) A parody of that r&b song Crossroads about crossbows?
2.) Coachella seems like such a roiling hell of affluence, effluence and influence that no matter how great the concerts were, it would be a miserable dispiriting experience.
3.) Daddy Warbucks was an early-adopter.
4.) And then, of course, there is LAARP, live-action ancient-retirement play.
5.) If Vine was still a thing, we could’ve sung “I Heard It Through The Dank Vines” and we’d laugh, oh, how we would laugh.
6.) If you have to kill your arch-enemy, try to do it in a home furnishings store so you can say “It’s Curtains For You!”
7.) Today, someone referred to the strip of fabric you use to keep a motion controller in their hand as a “Wii Strap” and I said “in my day, we used to call them cockrings” and, like, 10 years ago, that would’ve been a really good joke.
8.) If there’s an Ikea in Birmingham, I hope people call it “Swede Home, Alabama”.