1.) Meathead cop on the local news says fent-laced pot is a reason to not legalize marijuana, even though legal regulated marijuana is EXACTLY how you drive sketchy laced-weed out of the marketplace. This is why we can’t have nice things.
2.) Thanos The Hand of Fate would be a pretty great subtitle for the new Avengers movie.
3.) Trying to milk a bull, the new farmer was udderly confused.
4.) Of course the competitive equestrian ended up depressed, she’d surrounded herself with neighsayers.
5.) You know you’re writing a lot when your teeth-falling-out stress nightmares start getting replaced with keys-falling-off-your-laptop stress nightmares.
6.) The Star Wars fan-ship portmanteau “Reylo” sounds like an off-brand of spraypaint for the budget-conscious graffito.
7.) Was the song “Hello” about the former in-Adele?
8.) Big corporate farms, if you want food from the start of the harvest, you gotta pay an early germination fee.
9.) Your fighter will have a magic spear she calls “Britney” and everyone will think that’s the extent of the joke. But when she goes in to finally kill her arch-rival, before the killing blow, she will simply say “It’s Britney, bitch!”