This entry is not mean to anyone for having a tattoo in The grotesque metamorphosis of a Bi-Polar human into a Tri-polar monster.
- March 31, 2019, 5:01 p.m.
So, I wrote this whole long entry…and it was basically just some cry baby tirade about how mad I am at tattoo culture, and I said a lot of really means things…that I actually meant, but that I didn’t want to share with the world because I felt like I really don’t need to be putting out more negative energy than I already have been.
I’ve been fucking salty lately…I’ve been carpet posting on Facebook, and all of it is very critical and harsh, and I’m just lashing out at no one in particular…and definitely not at the people who I’m fucking angry with.
I’m mad at Alec, and I’m mad at Golnar…I feel like both of them kind of left me. And they both did it at the same time. And, I understand that they both have their reasons, and they both have their own shit that they are going through…but fuck, those were two of my best friends.
Pretty much the only thing I that gives me joy is spending time with the people I love…so it fucking hurts to lose people.
So yeah…I’ve been being mean and shitty and lashing out and…I know I shouldn’t be like this.
It sucks, I just got back from this trip where god spoke to me, and cleansed me and made me new and I understood my purpose fully, for the first time without fear, and I came back feeling peaceful and ready to get at it…and then of course, right when you’re feeling your best is when you get a sneak attack to test your metal.
So…I guess it all makes sense.
And the destruction thing? I am pulling that in.
I know I am here, serving God…but I also know that I am here because I am a warrior, and I know that I have killed many times before on this earth, in every past life that I have knowledge of…and I have a feeling I will kill in this life before it’s over.
Unfortunately, there are some incredibly important fundamentals to human happiness that can only be bought and sold in blood…and the pursuit of happiness really is the ultimate goal. Everyone wants to reach that ultimate peace and understanding, that level of contentment. You need to possess it to be welcomed into the 4th dimension. The ones who don’t have it are unwelcome and become “demons” for lack of a better word.
Demons can always get their shit together…time doesn’t exist, so it’s never too late.
I need to start getting ready now, my buddy Alex is coming to pick me up and we are going to go to this flower shop on Melrose that’s owned by a bunch of famous rappers or something, I don’t totally remember the full story behind it, but he was telling me about it last night and it sounded cool. I don’t go to LA very often, AND I DON’T HAVE TO DRIVE THERE THIS TIME so that’s FUCKING AWESOME!
The only thing worse than driving in LA is driving in SF, seriously, that place is a fucking nightmare, gnome Satan?
Then I’m going to come home, take sleeping pills, and try to get a full nights rest because I start training for the new gig tomorrow at 9 am…which is actually really early for me.
I’m going to wake up at like, 7:45 or something.
I would say “I’d honestly rather die” but, that is a very real option if I don’t go to this training in the morning, and I’m going to the training, so I guess I would rather work than die.
I’m not as hardcore as I thought myself to be.
Maybe I should get a tattoo.
I love you.
I’ll talk to you soon.
Maybe even later tonight.
My brain won’t shut the fuck up, so we’ll see.