Throwing Things Randomly At the Wall in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

Song In My Head:
All I wanna do
is see you turn into
a giant woman (a giant woman)
All I wanna be
is someone who gets to see
a giant woman

Transitioning from that to this:
Guess what I did this morning?
Well… I had to read the reports, then file charges for the following crimes:
Sex Offender caught living with an 11 year old girl
20 year old caught strangling his 18 year old girlfriend… it’s okay, though, she’s been begging us to drop the charges
A 50 year old man walks into a bar at 1 a.m; brandishes a hundgun and announces “nobody better fuck with my family or they’ll answer to this!”

So that’s my morning. And it isn’t uncommon. I can deal with it, it isn’t something that drags me down or ruins my life or anything… but it is something to keep in perspective, really. The kind of stuff people see on the news and say “tut tut” before switching over to Netflix or Sports? That’s how my day starts. The payoff is sometimes my day ends by knowing I’ve helped… but the truth is, that doesn’t happen often enough to be a fair balance.

I suppose technically, of course, that isn’t the FIRST thing I did today.

TMI

First thing I did was wake up. Realize I was horny, take care of that issue, get dressed, go to the Police Station… get debriefed on a 19 year old who convinced his 17 year old girlfriend to steal her grandfather’s firearms… the 19 year old then stole a truck, went for a joyride, crashed it, and First Responders found the young man belligerent, carrying drugs and the stolen firearm. THEN I came to work to research and draft the charging documents.

But circling back around to my state when I woke up: That’s been happening more. I mean… I get it. I had sex on the 17th, that wasn’t that long ago. But… I’ve been saying it for a while now.... I would consider it a “compromised ideal” if we had sex once a week. I mean… obviously… no duh… not going to happen… you don’t go from an “at best” 3 or 4 times a year to 52 times a year. That’s obvious! I’m just saying… I would far prefer being closer to my 52 as opposed to not. Just as a matter of physical desire.

Funny thing is… do you know what I’ve been enjoying lately? I’m a prime lad for sounds. Good God, reader, a vocal woman with moans or a verbal woman with talk… that can drive me right up the pole. But strangely, I’ve been enjoying stories more. Not audio stories (though, there was a long stretch of that in my life) but simply… erotic reading. What has been getting me there, so to speak, has just been stories. Reading about a boy and girl like each other, appreciate each other’s bodies, experiment in a safe and sexually thrilling environment/relationship… that is what has been “doing the trick.” I’m not trying to make any grand psychological statement (if one exists, then by all means) I am simply laying out where I am and finding it interesting. Well, finding it interesting and certainly wishing I could have something a bit more like that… I would be insecure as hell if I were, say, with a nymphomaniac.... but I still think I’d rather prefer a romantic and sexual partner more interested in exploring things like romance and sex.

Speaking of my current romantic and sexual partner

I think tonight/this week, I’m going to try talking to her so we can Game Plan our couple’s counseling session. Granted, our next one isn’t until March 16th but Game Planning a little could also help her in speaking with her personal therapist as well (I hope).

Last night it came to me that the two primary areas of my concern stem from the same root.
WIFE’S VANISHING INTERESTS AND SIGNIFICANT CHANGES SINCE WEDDING
That umbrella overhead touches on both her extreme withdrawal due to anxiety and it goes towards the Shop Vac concern. So I’d like to approach her about it and figure out how we want to tackle that in Couple’s Counseling and in her Individual Therapy. To see if there’s a preference in which way we approach it. NOTE: Preference in which way we approach it… like a parenting strategy… you don’t say, “Would you like to get your coat on?” you say, “Which would you like to put on first; your gloves or your coat?”

Now in a move I’m sure will absolutely enrage any reader over the age of 54 (or anyone who thinks like a traditional Baby Boomer)… Cracked.com weighs in:

5 Ways Baby Boomers Keep Getting Worse
You’ve probably heard all the standard jokes about old people. They smell weird, they drive badly, they’re fucking terrible at Super Smash Bros., etc. But thanks to the glory of science and research, there’s a whole new crop of stereotypes that we can hone about the elderly (and more specifically, baby boomers). And most of them are a little depressing.

5: They’re The Ones Spreading Fake News
“And ironically, while lots of those memes are about young people destroying the world with their Instagram addictions and gender-neutral restrooms, it’s the boomers who are ruining society by sharing bullshit. A study found that they are four times as likely to share fake news on Facebook, and twice as likely as the second-oldest age group that was looked at.”

4: They’re More Politically Polarized Than Ever
“This era is as polarized as any in recent memory, but some groups are more polarized than others. For the past 20 years, people over the age of 65 have become much more politically polarized than younger generations. In fact, their “partisan affect polarization” increased at a rate three times greater than that of people between the ages of 18 and 39.”

3: They’re More Addicted To Their Phones Than Young People
“But this is kind of a pot and cellular kettle situation, because according to a Nielsen global survey, millennials and Gen Y’ers aren’t the ones who need to close their Facebook app at dinner. Studies show boomers are most likely to be distracted by their phones during meals. After all, how else will they be able to keep up with the latest op-eds explaining why millennials are ruining America? How will they share their Qanon memes?”

2: They’re Cheating In Relationships More
“For the last few years, we’ve been bombarded with hot takes about how stuff like Tinder and the dreaded specter of “hookup culture” are killing romance. But maybe we shouldn’t point fingers at young people having consenting noncommittal relationships, and instead check out the 20 percent of people over the age of 55 who’ve reported having extramarital affairs. For comparison, among those under the age of 37, only 12 percent reported cheating.”

1: They’re Becoming Increasingly Isolated
“A study of behavior among various age groups in the United States reveals that “55-to-64-year-olds just about to join the ranks of the elderly are far less socially engaged now than their predecessors were at the same age 20 years ago.” That’s a really nice way to say that old people are lonely.

They spend less time with neighbors, less time participating in the community, and less time at church. And compared to earlier generations, today’s older people are even having fewer quality interactions with their spouses, though the bit about cheating might help explain that one.”

At the moment, I’m stalling. I just had to explain to an attorney why we weren’t going to close a Juvenile Case this morning. Short version?
The 8 year old child was going door to door begging for food and was out of the home for hours before parents realized he was missing.

So, I don’t know. I’m not really looking forward to the other things on my To Do List today.
(1) Review 6 discs of evidence in a (actually) stupid and frustrating case. High School Girls who want to fight; so their moms set up an actual fistfight to be watched by the girls’ friends. My officers won’t charge the moms or the girls for the fight… but I have to go through the evidence because one of the spectators got hurt. Forgive me but… so fucking hillbilly. Seriously… even if you genuinely wanted to settle the issue through violence the smart way of doing it is to disguise it as a Boxing Exhibition. Don’t just “these girls want to fight, okay… c’mon over to the house and bring all your friends. You’ll fight there!” That’s just… really? First: Bad parents. Don’t encourage your kids to resolve their conflicts through violence. Second: If the only conflict resolution you can think of is violence? Don’t intentionally invite other people to “come watch.” Third: Disguising the fight through “sports” or “athletics” would provide adequate cover and support to prevent any legal ramifications should, as this fight did, anything go wrong.

(2) Plan out and properly calendar the month of March. It is.... tough. And interesting. I certainly have much bigger things going on in March than I’ve had before. So I absolutely want and need that calendared and planned. But therein lies my own stress response. IF I calendar it, I’ll know precisely how much work I still need to do and how stressful this month may actually be. A sort of “Temporary ignorance provides short-sighted stress relief.” Of course, I’m intelligent to know how foolish that is. The sooner you know, the more can be done. So I’ll certainly do it today. Just not looking forward to it.

As for this weekend? I suppose we’ll see?

Tonight, the plan is
(1) Exercise & Weigh In
(2) Grocery Store for Pills and Booze
(3) Dinner, Jeopardy
(4) Potential Marriage Conversation
(5) Executive Time.... which is to say, currently unplanned free time… but that seems obvious by the name, does it not?

Saturday, the plan is
(1) DnD game… so a 74 minute drive to JTown, 7 hour game, 74 minute drive back to IF.

Sunday:
Nothing planned. So… throughout that… fingers crossed… writing, video games, reading… fun things?