feb28 in idea barrages

1.) We specifically got a heavy metal hinged lidded kitchen trash can so this dog wouldn’t be able to get in the trash anymore. Damn thing pulled the little bit of bag hanging out of the can until he pulled it all over. A smart stubborn Garbage Dog.

2.) If a septuagenarian millionaire-fifty-times-over who should’ve had a personal driver for the last 20 years killed a guy driving at night in any other context, y’know. But a famous sport man, it’s all “Such Feelings, So Brave”. America.

3.) It’s a hard time to be single and not be someone’s fantasy. It’s difficult to think someone would give you a chance as… pretty good… when the media landscape is all about aspiring to shoot for the moon, as opposed to someone fun to have adventures with.

4.) Now if there was only an adblocker extension to block whitelisting-begging…

5.) Nearing 60,000 tweets, I wonder if when I reach that plateau, I get 100 points automatically deducted from my credit score or something.

6.) A parody of “Rocket Man” about how Mike Myers could’ve saved his dignity by making a Sprockets movie but didn’t.

7.) I’m sorry for all the times in summer I said I’d prefer winter. I was wrong. This is all my fault. Blame me.

8.) Your band that only plays speed metal covers of country songs will be called Macho Man Randy Travis.

9.) In Soviet Russia, revolution dance-dances you.

10.) “Lost 2: The Legend of Hurley’s Gold” will make very little sense as a piece with the Lost series, making a perfect follow-up to the Lost series.

11.) For Soviet hipster, culture appropriates you.

12.) A reminder: Wikileaks was never a force of good, was always Julian Assange’s cult of personality for the purposes of advancing & protecting him, has been a Russian state propaganda tool since the day Putin’s RT started cutting him checks.