Uh Oh in Book Six: Trying to Hold On 2019

So last night, I kicked my ass in the gym. Coming up on the end of the month, I want to make sure I’m making gains. I weighed 226.9 lbs at the beginning of February… I cut out Alcohol from my diet (which also cuts back on Soda, but means I drink more juice)… I want to see that I’ve at least lost 2 pounds! I mean… I started at 235. I’m not expecting 8 lb gains every month but if I can at least do 2 pounds in February, that would be 10 pounds for the year. SO yeah… my fingers are crossed that March 1st says 224. Who knows? I feel like while I’m certainly pushing myself and not eating like a pig… I’m not seeing results.

BUT, back on topic,

I kicked my ass at the gym last night… like ran so much my nipple hurts like one of those marathon guys. And the outside temperature dropped to subzero again. SO… increased pain and fatigue from exercise… increased pain and fatigue from weather… leg pain increase. Translation: I’m furious today, absolutely rage-filled-furious. The kind of rage that I want to concentrate into a little ball of energy… that would be the size and power of a kaioken x3. Not AT anyone or even about anything. This is the rage that comes to stave off the pain. The shitty coping mechanism that was developed before I was ever even diagnosed. So something to “enjoy.” I have the self-awareness now to realize where the rage comes from, which also means I have the maturity now to not inflict that rage on other people because I understand that nobody and nothing caused this rage. But that just means I’m a body, filled with rage, that can’t do anything about that rage. Grumph.

It isn’t helped by the fact that it is just getting colder outside. In the 1.5 minutes it takes to walk from my office to the court… my pomade froze. Cold outside. Then nobody showed up for any hearings. So, the only scheduled work I had on my calendar for the morning was 4 hearings before noon… and zero show ups. So today gets to be about preparing for 3 hearings and 1 trial tomorrow. Followed by 2 trials on Thursday. All told, a slow week.

My hope for this evening is to discuss the Receiver Issue with Wife some more. We’re so close but not quite there yet. We need chairs for our basement table, fix the surround sound and cable issues in the basement, receive the mattress for the downstairs guest room… and then (other than knick knacks and decorations) we’re good for interior! When it is all said and done, I’ll do like a little video House Tour and share it to Facebook… does anyone know how to put a video on Prosebox? Other than YouTube?

I think it is kind of weird right now. A calm before a storm… or a frozen world where the life under the ice is waiting to breathe anew… it just feels like right now things are superficially quiet… like they’re quiet but but in a way that isn’t exactly natural… and things are going to explode as soon as they can.
Which is a REALLY weird thing to think when I’m also thinking “My life has gotten kind of boring. I mean, I don’t want adventure per se, but excitement wouldn’t be bad.” With absolute ZERO evidence to support this claim, the thought occurs to me This is why housewives have affairs. That excitement that fills a need for both “a rush” and “something more.” Just something that popped into my head.

Well, if something pops in there, Ray, let’s untangle it. (pop in there, Ray is a reference btw).
I want to hang with friends, not just my Wife, but I want to have people come to my home to visit since more often than not I’m going to other cities every week. But then, we’re also a bit bogged in our schedule for things, too. This weekend, we’ll be in Des Moines. Next weekend, something is already scheduled. The weekend after that: already scheduled. And almost all of that involves driving for over an hour to visit other people at other locations. I have a house, now, folks! People come visit me! Visit me at my house instead of having me hang out at your apartments. I guess have three pulls of varying probability.
Pull 1: Invite MBFITWW to come back and visit sometime. Yeah, it would mostly be watching Anime but doing things I like with people I like is good… doing them in my home is even better.
Pull 2: Invite Best Buy Electronics Friend to visit sometime. Yeah, it would be a little awkward to invite somebody over just to check out my Basement Set Up and help finish anything that may need tweaking but… I want to show off my home to people, lol.
Pull 3: Fantasy. Stupid, dumb, hurtful fantasy of things that would be stupid, hurtful, and dumb, Fantasies like… Wife finally pulls the trigger on that trip to her parents’ she’s been talking about. She goes to visit them for 2 weeks to help them clean up their house (MIL: Hoarder). I get to enjoy an obligation-less existence for a bit… watching whatever TV I want, playing video games whenever I want… I find myself exploring more of the town and discovering some new bars/places to meet folks. (Remainder has been redacted)
These thoughts go through my head. As outside, the wind howls and the freeze blows, and I get to look forward to an evening of “Jeopardy, YouTube, and Wife’s TV Programs”.

I want to briefly discuss a topic of extreme controversy. Abortion Feel free to skip if you wish to not be challenged or upset.

For a very long time I was pro-life. But even when I was my most pro-life, I was less pro-life than my Representative in Congress. ESPECIALLY at the local state level. You see… I believe that if a child is viable, than the destruction of that fetus is ending a life. I believe that if the medical professionals say, “We can save the mother or the child but not both” then the Mother should receive priority. These are beliefs that have never changed. I then went a step further and said, “If pregnancy is an outcome of sex… and you don’t want to get pregnant… don’t have sex. It should be that fucking obvious.”

However, as I grew up… I began noticing certain things. The increased damage to children and the increased harm to society of rules that require a child be brought into the world; but then raised in poverty, filth, crime, and ruin. Yowl all you want to about the fictional “Welfare Queen” but a child that does not have sufficient access to healthcare, food, an education??
Worse still, I began to discover that… even though my own Sexual Education was fucked up, at least I received some actual knowledge with my programming. There were wide swaths of the population that had reached or were reaching adulthood whose knowledge about sex was laughably incorrect and incomplete. Women who were never told that if they missed taking the pill a few days, that was a significant issue. Women who were genuinely confused about birth control and prophylactics. Women who could not get access to sexual health or birth control or prophylactics. And I started re-thinking my perspective.

Imagine a world where the government and your community refuses to educate you on sex and birth control… but you are pressured by society, media, and your boyfriend to have sex in a big way… you have sex and get pregnant. Now the government and your community DEMAND that you have that baby no matter what. As soon as the baby is born… you realize that you have massive payments due for your medical care plus a new creature that requires food, care, attention… and you’ve got no help. You were forced to have this child, but now those same powers that forced you to have the child refuse to lift a finger to protect YOUR health or well being OR the CHILD’s health or well being. Instead, pretty seriously condemning both mother and child into a life of poverty and increasing the likelihood of becoming a burden on “The System” through increased ER Health Care visits and increasing the likelihood that the child will wind up involved in Crime at some point in their life.

No, that isn’t everyone‘s story but it is a story that repeats itself throughout our country. And then… Iowa did a succession of shit that just REALLY boiled me on this.
First, they passed a law that said Abortion was not acceptable in instances of maternal health.
REALLY?!?! You’re so pro-birth that you don’t give a shit if a fully grown, functioning human being could die… you just need to make sure that birth happens!! Fucking idiots.
Then, many years later (so much more recently) they passed the Fetal Heartbeat Bill. The bill says that abortions are illegal after the 3 week since conception! SO… you know how most women would find out they’re pregnant by missing their period… then taking a pregnancy test… and discovering the news? WELL according to that Iowa Law… fuck everyone: no abortions. Because, the GOP said, “A baby’s heart starts to beat at 3 weeks.” Except… that isn’t even medically universally accepted. THEN it got even more insane since, OF COURSE that bill was overruled as being unconstitutional as fuck. The Iowa Governor said, “I just think that is a shame. The law recognizes a human life is a heartbeat.” BUT THE GOVERNOR WAS WRONG! The Iowa Law recognizes an individual as being alive when the individual has cardio and respiratory … the Iowa Law then requires heartbeat and lungs.... and that isn’t a FETAL law… that is a law that extends to all citizens. If your heart stops but you’re on a ventilator in Iowa… you can legally be declared still alive.
Then, when that was struck down… the same legislator that gutted schools, DHS, mental health care, and programs designed to FEED IMPOVERISHED CHILDREN are trying to amend Iowa’s Constitution to include an amendment that bans abortions across the state for all reasons.

Now you’ve just entered bullshit, fucking pissed me off territory.
I still believe that if a child is viable, than the destruction of that fetus is ending a life. I believe that if the medical professionals say, “We can save the mother or the child but not both” then the Mother should receive priority. But I also now believe that any government that would REQUIRE someone to give birth? That government should be REQUIRED to maintain and support programs that would aid that child’s development… like food, shelter, health care, an education. Otherwise, you have a government that is (honestly and truly) TRYING TO CREATE A LARGER POPULATION OF UNEDUCATED, UNHEALTHY, IMPOVERISHED, POTENTIAL CRIMINALS. And if that is the community you want? If you’re so passionate that every baby is born, only to become that? I’m not sure we can agree on perspectives.

I mean… at the end of the day, it may just be a slogan but it is true. “Banning abortions doesn’t stop abortions. It stops safe abortions.”

Discussion Inspired by THIS ARTICLE.

Uuuooofff. Afternoon o’ phone calls. Nothing major, mostly just scheduling issues but… my March Scheduling is already stressful, lol.

On the other side of that, though? I’m… in need of confidence, I guess?

My scheduling secretary sent a thing asking “Does this schedule look okay?” I sent back, “I think you should add X Trial because, while it wasn’t originally scheduled, the judge has added it to the calendar.” I thought nothing of what I said. But the scheduler took it hard and beat himself up for “missing something obvious” and so now I kind of feel bad. Logically, I know I shouldn’t. I didn’t even say “Boo, you suck!” I just said, “Oh, I see what happened, here’s what’s going on.” But it’s me. I want to make sure everyone on my team is pulling together.

Wow… my mind is wandering a bit today. I think it has to do with the end of February. Or the records broken. By which I mean:

ANYWAY… with my wandering mind… I’m just thinking of stuff I want to do that I likely won’t have time for. Like… just… everything? I guess? lol Either having sex with Wife or masturbating… playing video games and relaxing… seeing friends and family… writing more… strange that my mind is like ::DO ALL THE THINGS:: but everything else is like… “But really?” I don’t know.

If I could only make really selfish and really plausible wishes right now?
(1) Surround Sound issues resolved/Video Game Hooks ups resolved
(2) A “playmate” like Raven for text based fun
(3) A sex partner willing to discuss and indulge in each other’s fantasies
(4) Time to play video games every day
(5) Weekly massages
(6) a quality desktop and time to really write whatever I wanted to at home

That’s all. Not too crazy.. except 2 and 3… but… I don’t know. That’s just what I want right now.

Wait until the weather gets better. Then I’ll be wanting a much fitter body, the ability to drink without gaining weight, bikini girls, and cosplay shenanigans.

In other words.... I am (as I have always been) the repressed Id, lol.

NEWS BITS:

Trump doesn’t understand economics, says former Fed chair Janet Yellen
Even without reading the article, I think we can settle on a NO DUH here. The man STILL acts/believes that Tariffs act like a tax on the Foreign Country. NO you idiot. Tariffs are imposed upon the business and almost always put upon the consumer. In other words… you’re made that China makes things. You charge (random) 20% tariff on Chinese Steel. US Importer of Chinese Steel pays 20%, charges US Manufacturer 20%. US manufacturer pays 20%, charges US Consumer 20%. Trump says, “Tariffs are working great. Lots more money in the treasury!” Just one example of many (many)! At the end of the article is a wonderful example of why an idiot with no legal knowledge maybe shouldn’t be in charge of the Executive Branch. Trump said, “I don’t like MOUs because they don’t mean anything. To me they don’t mean anything. I think you’re better off just going into a document.” Yet… the people that actually DO this said, “An MOU is a contract. It’s the way trade agreements are generally used… A Memorandum of Understanding is a binding agreement between two people.” Donald Trump: The Great Negotiator, The Deal Maker.... the idiot who doesn’t understand a Contract? Apparently.

Trump on brink of defeat on border emergency
It would be nice, but the most important thing to remember here is: THIS IS PURELY SYMBOLIC WITH NO MEANING AT ALL. The House gets this thing passed. Let’s say the Senate gets this thing passed. Trump is absolutely going to Veto this. No question, no doubt, no surprise. And there isn’t a 2/3s majority able to overrule the President’s Veto. SO… this is symbolic. But also important for voters in the future. In some good and not so good ways.

Let’s say you are a Republican Senator with an election to win in 2020. This move comes up that appears to be a massive “Big Government” move to grab a lot of land from Private Landowners and use a lot of money from Emergencies that need it like Flint, Puerto Rico, and California. You have a tough choice to make and either way leaves you vulnerable. EITHER support Trump and open yourself to a Traditional Conservative Attack from a challenger. OR Support your traditional conservative values and go against Trump; opening yourself to a Trumpian Attack from a challenger. Frankly, I would be FAR happier with the former, but I think we’ll see a lot of the latter. Not surprisingly Chuck “Old and Idiotic” Grassley is proving once again that he has the fragile backbone of a man his age. Spoke out against the President using Emergency Powers… acted like Obama ruined the country contemplating going around Congress on anything… and yet publicly stated he’d back the President. ARE YOU A COWARD, A CORRUPTED OFFICIAL, OR ARE YOU BEING BLACKMAILED? Fuck sake, man!

Chairman Schiff Statement on House Intelligence Committee Investigation
This is not the most recent statement from Adam Schiff, but in his most recent statement he said something that I so dearly hope actually happens. As Attorney General Barr has the final say as to how much of Bob Mueller’s report is heard by Congress; Chairman Schiff has stated that if A.G. Barr attempts to block public hearing or complete debrief of the Mueller report.... Congress will simply invite Mr. Mueller himself to testify. I think that is an important and needed step… and it is despicable that such a thing should even be needed or discussed.

Democrats blast absent Trump with oversight offensive

This week is going to be completely full of news. Day and night.

Manafort’s lawyers taunt Mueller for not tying him to Russian interference in 2016 election

Stranded Amtrak train with 183 passengers is finally moving again

https://www.facebook.com/Taquitoficial/videos/398445360967753/

Last updated February 26, 2019