All day Clair's ring tone sounded off, a desperate attempt to contact me. The constant ringing was driving me crazy. Every time I heard it, my mind would go deeper into isolation. There are rare moments of my life were being alone isn't a comfort but a suffocating nusia and Valentines Day was one of these days. After breaking up with Clair all I wanted to do was crawl into a small corner of campus and disappear.
Back to back in the iLoft, were sound couldn't reach us, Sebastian and I stayed. I rested the back of my head on the back of his shoulder and I could feel his warmth on mine. I wondered if Clair had a friend he could go to during this time. When his ring sounded again I took my phone and through it on the other side of the sectional. I was being punished, I had to have been. Why else would I have felt so disgusting?
Even though I had Sebastian's support, he was still surprised when I told him what I was going to do. Did this really come out of left field? Did we really seem like the perfect couple? It's true we never argued, there was never a moment when we disagreed. Were we so open to the others opinion that we didn't feel the need to voice ours or did we just not care enough to speak up?
When we showed affection did it look like two people in love? I suppose to other people it did look like we were intimate, but we never crossed that line. Was it because we had mutual respect for each other or because we didn't care to push each others limits?
Rolling off sebastian's shoulder I landed on the sectional barring my face in my arms and the cushion when I heard the ring tone again. If I had the support of a friend and I wasn't truly in love, why did I feel so guilty?
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