1.) After Soviet frat party, shame walks you.
2.) Fan fiction where the “that” in “Anything For Love” turns out to be “foot stuff” and then Quentin Tarantino swoops in to steal the poor rejected lass’s heart.
3.) “Christ Jesus!” is a much cooler sounding curse than “Jesus Christ!” Something about the emphasis. Stressing the second syllable makes it a lovely little pyramid of blasphemy. The trailing off “s” sounds like a balloon losing the last of its air. It’s rad.
4.) A film about Christ’s lesser carpentry related miracles called “EXTRAORDINARY MEASURES”.
5.) If I had to name two current famous soccer players, I would draw a blank and say “Robocopio” and “Clive Chivvington” and have a decent chance of accidentally being right.
6.) The key is to remember, yes, many men look better with beards but also, some of us grow a beard and just end up looking like the Philadelphia hockey mascot that went viral. To paraphrase the Cookie Monster “Beards are a sometimes food.”
7.) Was reminded the Grammys are tonight & kind of feel bad. Generally, I’m happy to no longer care about award shows but ragging specifically on the Grammys feels mean. If awards shows are a family of jerks, the Grammys are the runty youngest kid you hate the least.
8.) You could shake a Boggle game, take some random letters, say it’s someone announcing for 2020 & no one would call you on it. Rep. Ritculad, Gov. Quopimino, Sen. Klobuchar, everyone’d just accept this was a politician they’d never heard of.