1.) The Old Milwaukee ban at the Utica Human Pong match would reek of “desperate P.R. stunt to remind us we have a Human Pong team” except that the reek of the Utica Club is covering up that smell.
2.) A born again vampire called Count Yerblessings.
3.) When you pop a pimple, is that a growth spurt?
4.) Don’t call it “junk science” they prefer “clinical penis research”.
5.) It is really really fun to over-pronounce the “t” in “fasten” but there are just not enough times or places to reasonably do that.
6.) Yes, the idea of a Velvet Underground/Fantastic Four mash-up STARTED with the phrase “Lou Reed Richards” but dammit, I think the whole idea has legs.
7.) The good news is the sliver of darkness on your screen isn’t a crack in the monitor. The bad news is it isn’t a stray eyelash either. That’s a crack in reality’s firmament and you’re seeing the darkness behind it all bleed through. Geek Squad ain’t fixin’ that.
8.) The SECOND greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing you he doesn’t exist. The first is when he got the vicious destruction of workers’ rights re-labelled as “The Gig Economy”.
9.) No, we shouldn’t be less “sensitive” when people are problematic, those people should be less cruel, less thoughtless and better members of our shared society.
10.) So much technological upgrade is useless to most actual end-users, just “new stuff” a device can technically do so as to soak the early-adopters for more money but an average consumer can’t actually use the new feature because it’s too complicated or buggy.