1.) The study of ancient wolves is called “barkeology”.
2.) In Ireland on December 27th, the children are visited by a magical leprechaun who brings them batteries for all the toys Santa brought and his name is Radi O’Shack.
3.) If you expose the pokemon Eevee to a Youtube Stone, he evolves into Patreon.
4.) If you’re a recovering Middle Easterner, you go to Leb Anon.
5.) In the Tinder age, the Pina Colada song couldn’t happen. They would’ve seen pictures instead of text personal ads in a paper, gotten in a fight and left each other immediately.
6.) Hinting who has the Black Death on social media is called plaguebooking.
7.) I feel like just by quoting the phrase “Gnome For The Holidays” I have doomed us that it will be the sequel to “Gnomeo and Juliet” and “Sherlock Gnomes”, extending the Gnome Cinematic Universe.
8.) Before you complain about how “everyone is offended by everything now!” step back and at least consider if maybe you were just being a mean jackass. At least entertain the notion of having a little goddamn empathy.