Feels in Feelings

Why does the jealousy burn? Why does my heart still sink. Why is there a double standard? Why can’t I just let go?

For months I longed for resolution, looking for another chance. I ended a new thing that may or may not have been right because my heart was in two places. I held hope that we could come back together. Deep down I knew we couldn’t, I knew it was over. Neither of us was happy, and any time we spent since the separation proved that to me more and more. I started to come to terms and felt I had accepted our fate, felt ready to move on. Yet every time I saw her, my mood would change. I felt irritated. I felt anxious. I felt nervous. How could I have moved on whilst still reacting like that? I found out tonight that she is going on a date tomorrow. My heart sank. Why can’t I let her go? Why can’t I just be happy for her? Mentally I am, rationally I am, but physically and emotionally… I am not.