A genuine and enthusiastic Merry Christmas to all.
I genuinely hope you are all doing well and enjoying the day.
I have realized a strong and unfortunate massive personal flaw.
I completely lack an inner sense of validation.
Without external voices, I have no inner voice saying “Good Job” or “You’re enough” or even “You’re okay.”
So notes. Emails. Feedback, etc… make TOO MUCH of a difference. I mean… I need a voice from outside to tell me that I am not some globular, morbidly obese, atrocious example of a half-man. I shouldn’t but… I do.
I would prefer if my wife didn’t make me feel like a fat ugly person. I would prefer if the world didn’t make me feel lonely so often.
Perhaps a shitty Christmas Message but certainly something I’m feeling right now.