Be still in Second 1st

I put myself here. I knew I’d be here. I didn’t know it would be this bad. Monday Rocky called out of work. He was scheduled for a night shift and he’s been working days since I last mentioned it. He had put in to change his availability too so this wouldn’t happen.... but it did so he called out. I’m okay with that. He actually wasn’t feeling good and wanted soup.... out. So we went for Chinese and he had a plate of sushi and 2 bowls of soup. I ate a bunch of stuff I shouldn’t have. i was thinking I’ll feel bad going to the doctor which would be okay because I’m wanting to talk about how I’m having way too many bad days. .... I shouldn’t have done it… I mean I’m having way too many bad days even with eating low sodium.

i did it to myself. All morning it’s been small bites of life. Put on cloths then sit and be still for 10 mins before I can do anything else. Put on socks and shoes, be still 10 mins. i told Rocky I would make pancakes but I can’t. I really can’t...... and be still jen be still....

I am constantly 2 steps from throwing up. I have 2 appointments today and if it doesn’t clear up i will go back to bed when we get back.

i woke early like usual…i ate some granola (55ish mg) . I was sitting/laying on the couch when I heard Rocky’s alarm go off. I waited almost 1/2 hour before I went to the bedroom. I had to lay down when I got there. i told Rocky he’d have to make his own breakfast. I explained it usually takes him 45 mins to get ready for work and it was 35 mins till I wanted to leave for the appointments. … it is now 10 mins till go time and he’s in the bathroom not dressed yet.

it’s okay. i don’t NEED him today. I feel like shit but I could make it I think. i don’t expect to be worse when i leave. .... be still.... be still....

Time to go. I need bags....