de15 in idea barrages
- Dec. 14, 2018, 3:50 p.m.
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- Public
1.) Genuinely stupid people aren’t the problem. Average people who think they’re so damn smart they can stay ignorant of everything, that they don’t have to learn because they’re just so goddamned gifted, those are the ones pulling us down history’s drain.
2.) Going to prison in Krakow should be called “pole vaulting”.
3.) Your parody of Bruce Springsteen’s worst song “Glory Days” will be called “Gory Days” and involve a line about a steel spike driven through an eye.
4.) In Soviet Garfield, Nermal mails Abu Dhabi to YOU.
5.) Nearly everyone who claims to love law and order really only loves order.
6.) A reboot of Dennis The Menace where the old man Mr. Wilson is the Beach Boys’ Brian Wilson & instead of being infuriated by Dennis’ antics, Wilson alternately either is so out of touch w/ reality he doesn’t see them or assumes them hallucinations.
7.) There at America’s end, he stuffed as much of its culture into his head, not its wasted bright potential or its cruel dark heart finally ascendant, nah, history would remember both well. His mind instead a monument to all the weird harmless ephemera the future would soon forget.
8.) A parody of “Jingle Bells” about Santa accidentally leaving powerful hallucinogens as gifts, involving the lines “drugsdrugsdrugs, drugsdrugsdrugs, Santa Claus left drugs, seemed a good time to get high, oh God a swarm of bugs” & “soon Miss Vanna White was seated by my side”.
9.) An ad for a colitis treatment called “XELJANZ (tofacitinib)” popped up in my twitter timeline and I feel like Superman goes around tricking villains into saying those words to either make them disappear or, at least, cure the colitis that was making them so grouchy.
10.) ZARDOZ except it’s called INFE and their horrifying future cosmology is inspired by Seinfeld instead of The Wizard Of Oz.
11.) Ten months passed since my pop died and still some nights it all hits me at once. Not just the discrete grief but the oceans of loneliness, directionlessness. They’re less often but they hit sometimes, taking out trash at 5 in the AM, outta nowhere, like now.
12.) I’ve lived in the city that cannot sleep (no matter how many drugs it takes to try) and I’ve lived in the city lost in dreams of itself (having eaten the lotus flowers and drifted off beneath the trees) and now I look for what the inbetween of those might be.
Squidobarnez ⋅ December 14, 2018
huggles-of-uber-supportive-squish
equilyin ⋅ December 15, 2018
they're less often, but are they less painful? gets a little frustrating being told time heals. maybe the "healing" lies in forgetfulness, since every remembrance seems to resonate with an unchanging level of loss.
littlefallsmets equilyin ⋅ December 15, 2018
So far? They're never less painful, just less frequent. Maybe when the scale of time is years instead of months it will be different but so far, no less painful just less frequent.
equilyin littlefallsmets ⋅ December 15, 2018 (edited December 16, 2018)
Edited
it’s an unmitigable position. to me, admitting less pain is like admitting you didn’t need them or that life could be the same or better without them. like it’s akin to betrayal to actually be okay, an impossible exchange between loyalty to a shared past and acceptance of a future they’ll never experience. my husband died two months ago, and with him being the only close and vital person i’ve ever lost, i’m still fresh to death (..ha), but i’m curious if you feel this, too.
littlefallsmets equilyin ⋅ December 16, 2018
When I was a kid of 12, my eldest cousin who was sort of my role-model was murdered by a friend with a gun who was having a psychotic break. I'm in my late 30s and I still have nightmares about it sometimes. Not every night, of course, maybe every month or two but it has never left me.
It took me decades to feel like trying to heal wasn't a betrayal of his memory.
equilyin littlefallsmets ⋅ December 18, 2018 (edited December 18, 2018)
Edited
please forgive me for the lack of any direction in this question, but what changed? why did it become okay? and now that it’s been brought up, is it still okay?
i don’t mean to sound like i’m trying to decipher all life’s answers through you. i’m just.. grasping. i recognize it, but i don’t have the strength to control it right now, and knowing you’ve been there...
littlefallsmets equilyin ⋅ December 18, 2018
The perspective of all the things I've had to go through in my life since, they gave it more context. Seeing things and doing things that forced me to accept the complexity and ambiguity of everything, even senseless death, mellowed me some.
It isn't okay, it was never okay, it'll never be okay... but the body of my life grew until that shiny scar was only one aspect of the tapestry of my life (to mix metaphors) and I could de-emphasize it some.
With Alan's murder specifically, I guess I slowly came to realize that what's done is done and being miserable or vengeful doesn't help anyone, it just become another wave of aftershocks hurting people again and... this life is about ameliorating each others' suffering, you know? We're here to help each other hurt less and if I shut myself down with grief and rage, I couldn't help others and others couldn't help me.
But I mean, it never went away, just like losing my father earlier this year will never go away, it's just... my picture, the picture of my life will hopefully keep getting bigger and that'll distract me enough to get outta bed in the morning to try and do cool fun shit to help people, you know?
Maybe. I can't speak to your psychology, I can only speak to mine. But definitely maybe.
equilyin littlefallsmets ⋅ December 20, 2018
trippy. mike’s family always called him by his middle name, alan, same spelling.
you said he was murdered by a friend. heavy.. his or yours? wrong place wrong time type of thing, or was there intention?
mike grew up in maine but left when he was 18, military. lived most of his life away, always sharing stories and the love of his hometown. (we lived in az, and there was a pretty significant age difference between us, but it never really meant anything to us or anyone who knew us.) i suggested we move there during a recent vacation for his family reunion since i knew he’d always missed it, and most of his family and close friends lived there. vacation was in august, we were moved by october. our first real house together, looking forward to our increased free time together since the job i’d just left normally kept me away long hours. he promptly died of pneumonia, the day after being released from a 3-day hospital stay. i watched him go, still not understanding what was happening, even thinking he was putting me on. in some ways, i am at least thankful it snuck up on him, since his father died slowly and sadly, and mike never wanted to follow suit. but i’m also stuck looping the question... even knowing he’d always wanted to go back, if i hadn’t suggested it and enabled him to, would he still be alive. ...yeah, one of those impossible things, everyone wants to answer on his behalf, tell me it’s not my fault. but it really does nothing to lessen the weight.