Once more, into the breach... in ...from the ashes.

I didn’t think I’d ever end up here. Open Diary was always a place for me to vent and unload and when I finally got to Canada I didn’t need that anymore. I’ve had this account and never needed to use it till now. I’m on my way to work, the usual hour long bus trip to Costco. The weight on my mind far heavier than it has been in years honestly.
Yesterday I had an interview at Games Workshop. Went well, I know the manager, but he’s not playing favourites and I have the utmost respect for that. What isn’t going well is convincing the wife this is better for me, and hopefully us, In the long run.
Costco pays more, and will keep going up till $24ish/ hour. It has a pension, room to advance, if I want to lose what little sanity I have left Noooooooope, and my job isn’t rocket science. I just work with some unmotivated fucks who need to be sent packing. Games Workshop is $12/hour, no pension, Full time with 80% coverage on medical, and 50% off my hobby. Less travel time and hopefully a happier work environment, because management at Costco are cancerous as fuck of late and morale is non existent.
Her concern is both of us in dead end jobs, I get that, but she’s shown no drive to move to something else in life and maybe this would kickstart her drive, I joked she should work at Costco, but retail has killed her soul in regards to working with customers, maybe she could try Admiral Insurance?! I dunno, I don’t want to pass the buck in regards to helping this marriage move towards the lofty goals of home ownership and whatnot, at the same time “hey its 2018, you be a strong woman blah blah”…now I’m rambling.

As I type this I know what I’ll end up doing, and I will let out a cry deep inside my soul. It’s for the greater good of Us, at the cost of a little piece of me.

I forgot how cathartic this can be.