so. i looked up prognosis of periodontitis or something like that. and i. it’s moderate - severe. so obviously that’s not good. um.
so evidently. scurvy is really easy to treat. just have more vit. c. right that’s what i’ve been doing. it’s really rare. well in this day and age it is. there are fewer. then 200,00 cases per yr. in the u.s.
so evidently. it generally takes 3 months to develop. and i learned last month that i had it. well holy fuk.
it’s also known as moeller’s disease. i’ve heard of that actually. and vit. c deficiency. oh well that makes sense.
so ok. but in 2 wks. i should. make a full recovery.
so ok. i might’ve mentioned this. But i’m doing the reduced sugar thing. when i talked about my dislike of water to my psych. all she said was something about how. sugar’s not good for the body. i didn’t pay much attention to that.
well basically. sugar is like pineapple. in that. when people consume it. it - sugar - consumes them or parts of them. like tooth enamel. which is like. the coat, that protects teeth. pineapple’s a weird fruit. in that way. and interestingly. sugar from fruit isn’t a problem. right cause it’s not mixed w/ anything.
well so the other day. I think it was thanksgiving wk. actually. My sister says something about us going to Voodoo Donuts. and i told her i don’t like donuts they’re too big. and she goes ‘you can cut it in half’. yes i was actually aware of that. i’m not stupid. like no really? ya don’t say. i like the little ones but ya know. that’s not really the point.
but the real reason. I don’t want to get donuts w/ her. isn’t the um sugar thing. No the real reason. is the emotional sweetness. she’s too nice a person [just like valerie was. thank god i’m not getting together w/ valerie anymore] and so. i feel somehow. that getting donuts w/ my sister would only. add, to that. look if i don’t like donuts then i don’t like donuts. ok? no means no. or ‘i don’t like.......’ w/e food it is the person doesn’t like. If I tell someone I want to get cake or brownies or w/e w/ them and they say no or something like that. then i’m like ok. that’s fine. cause w/ sweets. believe me it’s never just one bite. or one piece. but don’t fukin coerce me like that. or at all. We can get pizza or pasta hell even subway. but not donuts. no donuts no no thank you. i don’t need sugar right now literal or otherwise.
firstoff. i already said no once. not like directly but i did. I put a stop to that. People can ask again but i’ll feel the same way. i told her ‘maybe’ when what i really mean is. no. i just wasn’t direct about it the second time.
sure yeah maybe for her. it’s ok and acceptable for her to have sweets. more often then not. but for me it’s not. [ok well no one said i wasn’t, allowed to.]. cause my situation right now. is different. i’ll be nice about indirectly saying no if/when she brings it up again. but i’ll indirectly say no.
No she’s not being nice. actually. what’s happening.........what she’s doing is indirectly slightly. pushing me into something that isn’t good for me. of all the people to understand enabling. to understand this kindof behavior. i’d think she would. cause see she used to do drugs. coke and uh heroin i think. opioids. w/ the coke.............i’m not sure if someone coerced her into doing it and i don’t need nor do i want, to know. i’m just saying. that if someone did. then she should understand.
i usually. won’t push people into doing something i know isn’t good for them. [other then actually giving money to homeless people. and guess what a lot of them buy w/ it? yes. exactly.]. but what i mean is. i won’t verbally do that. again. i’m the kindof person who will, take no for an answer. People, seem to have this presumption that it’s a bad thing but ya know what maybe it’s not. some of them. i won’t verbally push people bc i know how it feels and i don’t like that. so i can only imagine how other people would feel. People like that they’ll go far in this world. well i’ll go far too just, for a different reason. cause i’m sweet and warm and understanding. and accepting. and so on. like i’m not a grocery cart ya know?
it’s not all fun and games anymore ya know? well. but i do have fun and i do like games. like i’m not - obviously - in my 20’s. and for right now. i can’t consume sugar like........well like w/e age it is that people consume a lot of sugar. any age. yes i consume bottled tea and that has sugar in it. i know. but like if hypothetically she bought me 6 donuts. like no that’s not happening. i’m not consuming those. or if we went to a bakery every time we got together. i don’t know. anything like that. [actually yes at bakeries/cafes they do have items w/ reduced sugar.].
and, furthermore. what if someone had said to her ‘it’s just one shot of heroin’? or ‘just one shot of coke?’ [sorry. i don’t know the correct terminology.]. i mean i’m* not going to. cause i’m not like that. i don’t confront people. i don’t start confrontations.........anymore. my point here is. that both sugar and hard drugs. neither of them are good for people.
this is the way she treats her dog too come to think of it. not literally. no what i mean is. her dog isn’t well trained. and some dogs aren’t. he’s a terrier if that means anything. well half terrier half bassett. we think. ya know. i recall one time when they. we were at my mom’s. her dog - my sister’s - went into the kitchen and started umping up. and i’m ‘ok do you want dinner or do you want to go outside?’. ‘outside’ was the alternative. at times she won’t stop his bad behavior. he’s not my dog so i feel weird. telling him ‘no’. my mom will though.
now my mom’s dog. the last couple yrs. of his life. he was v. sweet and rarely caused trouble. he was........well he had collie in him we know that. this beautiful really soft dog. and when we had people over and he’d bark or want attention. [ok so he’d gone blind. and was probably confused.]. at my mom’s the living rm. shares a wall w/ the kitchen. i’d take him into the kitchen and say ‘ok stevie time for excercise’ in order to distract him. i didn’t. reprimand him. the few times when i told him ‘no’ i didn’t raise my voice. i’d go down next to him and explain the situation. also he was old ya know? so i guess it just depends on the dog. really.
i don’t actually like my sister’s dog that much. he has a lot of energy and he’s a forceful sortof thing for how small he is. i think my sister thinks bc her dog’s little and some would say cute. that he can get away w/ that kindof stuff. a lot of small dogs are like that. some, vicious. some are quite energetic. well sure i’ve been told i’m cute. but that doesn’t mean i’m allowed to er. not do certain things. ya know they’re not mutually exclusive. people don’t reprimand me anymore or argue w/ me. but yeah. in fact i’m harder on myself then any of them.
Last updated December 06, 2018