quicksand. in formless

Sometimes I think this is the only honesty within me
the words hiding here, poured out at inconsistent intervals
my idea of who I am is changing
this program is erasing so much of that numbness that was slowly killing me

but at the same time
I am awakened
learning to see
like a fawn on spindly legs
stumbling over all the things I did not notice before

and I have to ask myself
what I am willing and not willing to accept

why is that so scary
looking out on my life like it is a long road
where will I be when I reach the horizon?