Survey (stolen) in Stolen surveys.

Do you have any regrets?
Too many to mention, but they are regrets for things that I have NOT done, not for things that I have.

Do you have a deep, dark secret?
Yes. Actually more then just one. And no, I won’t talk about it even on here.

Have you ever hurt someone?
It’s been claimed that emotionally I have. I never hurt anyone physically, but I have fantasized about it, and can actually see it happening if everything just lines up perfectly. But I really don’t want to go to jail or worse, and that is exactly what would happen if I got pushed far enough.

Have you ever self-harmed?
No.

How would you like to be remembered?
I really wouldn’t want to be remembered at all. My ideal final exit would be one where all traces of me ever being here would disappear. Just my preference.

Who are the three most important people in your life?
I have no one, just my cat.

Was there one event that changed your life and the way you think?
Yes one. The time that I found out that the girl I knew since I was one years old (its when she was born) got married. I was conviced “fate,” “God” “the universe,” or whatever had it planned that I was going to marry her. When I found out she got married to someone else, I lost all faith in predetermination, super natural, religion. All those possibilites collapsed in about three seconds, never having a chance to come back. That was 30 years ago.

Would you sacrifice everything for love?
Obviously not at this point.

Are you afraid of dying?
Not really. Material things yes, self respect and dignity, no.

Have you ever been abused?
Yes. Bullied by my cousin and peers when I was young, verbally and emotionally by a step father. Never sexually though, unless you count that cousin, but to be honest, I liked that part.

Have you ever been in love?
4 times.

Are you happy with who you are?
I’ve accepted it, but would change a bunch of things if it was in my power to do so.

Would you ever give up your life to save someone else’s?
I think I could do that very easily, as long as my death was quick and painless. If it was defending someone, I would also want to brutally take a few of the offenders out with me, if not all of them.

Have you changed at all in the last year?
Learned some things about myself that I didn’t know.

Would you ever settle for someone you didn’t feel was “the one”?
Possibly. Not sure.

Is there someone you can tell everything to without fear of judgement?
Yes, my friend T. Although he’s a shit bag in other ways, I can tell him anything.

Are you pursuing your dreams?
I don’t have any.

Do actions speak louder than words?
They are the only things worth listening to.

Is there something you would never do?
Yes, probably.

What makes you uncomfortable?
Not sure. Very few things really.

Who knows more about you than anyone else?
My friend T.

Are you pro life or pro choice?
Pro-choice.

Where was your last vacation?
Europe when I was around 26. So about 27 years ago.

What was your last argument about and who with?
The last woman I had a thing with.

Are you happy with the choices you’ve made?
Quite the opposite for many things.

Are you excited for anything?
Nothing

Do you hate the last person you kissed?
Not at all. I sure wish I could hate her.

You’re stuck in an elevator with one of your worst enemies, what do you do?
Climb through the roof and try to get the fuck out before I kill it.

Are you mad at someone right now?
I don’t think so.

Is something bothering you?
Yes. Emotions. I have them, and can’t seem to beat them. I hate not being fully in control of myself like that.

Were you happy when you woke up today?
No.

Have you ever been cheated on?
Yes

Are you hard to please?
Very easy actually.

How are you feeling right now?
Shitty.

Do you wish you had the chance to go back in time and change something now?
Yes please.

Can you honestly say that you love yourself?
no

Do you hide your feelings or show them?
As I told a coworker last week. If you ever see me showing any sign of negative emotions, it’s just the very tip of the iceberg that’s down deep, so you don’t want to ask me about it, and best to just let me be.

What do you always take with you?
Something to buy shit with just in case.

Do you think relationships are hard?
They are, but they shouldn’t be if they are good relationships.

Do you think you’d have what it takes to shoot someone if you had to protect yourself?
I believe I could cut their throats and not feel bad about it.

When you can tell that someone’s lying, do you call them out on it?
Nope, usually just let them go on with the lie.

Have you ever hallucinated?
no

Do you regret something you did yesterday?
no

How many hours did you sleep last night?
6. That’s 3 less then I prefer.

Is something bothering you right now?
Yes

In the past week have you felt sad?
Yes.

Has someone disappointed you recently?
Yes, I did. Big time.

Do you think relationships are ever really worth it?
Maybe, but I never had any that seemed to be worth it in the long run.

If you could pack up and move, would you?
Here or there, it would still suck.