I'd Rather Not Admit It in I'm About To Have A Nervous Breakdown
- Sept. 27, 2018, 3:11 p.m.
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- Public
Well over a year ago I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. Was told to read I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me. I did and thought it was psychobabble bullshit.
Weeeeell…the more I talk to people who really know me…
Bad, definitely bad. (Yeah, Rain Man was on this morning, which got me in this train of thought.)
I accepted a job offer (full time, not temp) this afternoon that offers good benefits and decent insurance. Once I get that BC/BS card I’m so going back to my therapist. I’m getting low on my meds and…I can’t run out. I go WAY off the deep end when not medicated.
Right now I’m just laying low, been feeling like absolute shit since going cold turkey off the sauce. Case in point, three PM now, been up since eight-ish last night. Ya, why sleep? Cleaned house a bit during that time and actually threw away a bunch of things that have been laying around for months. Good step right?
Anyways, just popped a sleeping pill (kinda wired yet tired) and think it’s a good time to force a reboot of the brain. I’m going to drift off here on the couch listening to the hum of the fan, dripping of rain outside the window, and the soft murmur of the tv set at a low volume.
I honestly don’t know the last time I slept in my bed.
Last updated September 27, 2018
Cat Mommy ⋅ September 27, 2018
I hated that book. Get Me Out of Here by Rachel Reiland is much better as it's written by someone with BPD. I was diagnosed with BPD in 2007 so I understand.
J.E. Cat Mommy ⋅ September 28, 2018
I'll definitely give it a read. I was actually kind of annoyed with my therapist for recommending I Hate You. Almost makes it seem like EVERYONE has BPD.
❤️vee ⋅ September 27, 2018
my last psychologist couldn't decide if I'm borderline or bipolar II
•kitkat• ⋅ September 27, 2018
I have borderline personality disorder. I was diagnosed back in 2003.
I have “I Hate You Don’t Leave Me”. I also have “The Buddha and the Borderline.”
J.E. •kitkat• ⋅ September 28, 2018
I'll check it out, thank you.
The real me ⋅ September 30, 2018
Diagnosed with bpd in 2001. It can be a struggle. Meds help. And also cbd oil. If I'm not on meds or the oil I will literally go out of mind it's not pretty.