Day 1 - * edit * in just testing

OD has problems with my internet explorer and I've lost entries before so I'm gonna try here for a while. Plus some of my faves are switching over for their own reasons so hopefully I find them all and kinda just continue my journaling from OD to here pretty seamlessly.

I saw that a way is coming to transfer your OD stuff to here.

To make a short introduction. I'm recently married to a truck driver named Will. I'm was recently hired as a receptionist in a school I'm morbidly obese and always dealing with THAT. I have 3 cats, no kids - yet?

Well Thursday was a good day. A teacher actually hugged me when I finished a project for her.

Yesterday was kinda a brain fart day. I made a couple of simple mistakes and got all embarrassed like people would think I was 'stupid' but in the end the mistakes were small and easily correctable.

After work I went riding with Will. We went to Sonic for dinner [BAD] but I justified it because I didn't eat a lot all day. But then, at a truck stop, Will bought me a GIANT chocolate milk and peanut butter flavored Muddy Buddy Chex Mix. I drank ALL the chocolate milk but didn't eat all the chex mix.

He buys me sweets all the time to make me happy. Usually when I'm dieting I don't tell anyone, so when I fail I don't have to explain to anyone.

Yesterday was a good day but today I woke up mad.

Me and Will had a 'tiff' recently where he said we should do our laundry separately because I'm not getting to it fast enough.

I, of course, told him he was being ungrateful because at least I DO IT. And he's never been WITHOUT clothes. But still he wanted to do it separate. SO I separated all our laundry into 2 baskets, but I really planned on doing ALL the laundry this weekend.

I was taking an online CPR / First Aid course after work all week and then I had the in person assessment on Thursday. I passed and I would have done laundry yesterday but he wanted me to ride with him.

ANYWAY, last night he told me that he did his own laundry. We got in at 4am so I was tired and didn't really react. But this morning I'm really pissed off! How dare he see my laundry piled up to and only do his? Well if he think I'm gonna be getting quarters for our separate laundry, he's wrong cause I can go to my parents house and do laundry. I don't need fucking quarters.

Maybe we should separate grocery shop and I don't buy him any food. Maybe we should pay separate tabs at dinner! Maybe I should only make my half of the bed!! Maybe I should only scoop out half the cat boxes!!! Maybe I should only wash MY OWN dishes!!!!

My period is coming on - I know it. We did 'try' for a baby last weekend but I really don't think it stuck cause I feel crampy and sad and angry and the whole downward spiral that usually comes with my period.

And now I'm back thinking that maybe I don't wanna have a baby now, or ever, with him. Cause he's selfish. He really is.

Well if he think's I'm gonna waste my whole day riding with him when I have to do my own laundry now - I really have nothing to wear - he can forget it. I'm not gonna waste any more of my time comforting him. I'm gonna just live my life and he can do his own laundry, his own shopping, and jerk himself off.

• edit* We fought, at first. But eventually I explained to him that he watches the laundry pile up and rhythm when it isn't done fast enough I get bitched at.

He agreed that wasn't fair and he'll help out more.

Then we headed to the bedroom to make up but agreed to wait till Oct / Nov to TTC.

I'm over him not appreciating me.