Friends Before Relationships in Random Public Stuffs
- Sept. 22, 2018, 6 a.m.
- |
- Public
I finally perused my Fakebook again and found a couple of highly controversial posts. When I say that, I don’t mean the bullshit politics or headliners in media.
I mean those questions that no one really thinks about until something is posted about it.
The one that caught my eye was the statement that someone absolutely cannot be friends with someone of the opposite sex. I noticed a couple trends, which didn’t surprise me. The first being females who agree and say shit like, ”My man knows better than to talk to another woman” and other crap along those lines. Males, on the other hand, talked about the female friends they had and it was not a huge deal.
I laughed.
My best friend of 28 years is a man. We met when I was 10 at a co-ed softball/baseball tournament at a huge baseball complex.
We are close, and many people think we are married or in a relationship. I am not sure how people think that because we don’t hold hands or anything like that.
He took me to prenatals and took the role of my youngest son’s father.
So I had to laugh when I read the comments from various females who say their men are not allowed to talk to othet women.
My best friend and I have dropped several potential partners because of that fucking stupid ultimatum: ”Its your friend or me!”
No hesitation on his part, nor mine. No guy will ever come before my best friend, and he has made it straight up clear that no female will ever be more important than me.
There have been a couple of girls who threw tantrums and cried around about they should be first and foremost and he has shut every single one of them down.
I will always be the priority. He will always be mine. My youngest may not have his DNA, but my best friend is HIS DAD. My two older children are his step-kids. They are our priorities. After that, its each other.
I tell every guy I date that he will be tossed aside if he ever tries to start shit when it comes to my best friend; dick is as common as a car in a city.
I will not hesitate to put a bitch down if she tries to hurt my best friend after he tells her I am always going to come first.
Some people are just genuinely friends. It speaks more about a person if they have to brag about their partner being on lockdown. It doesn’t surprise me when they cry around about being cheated on after making those comments.
So, that was the most entertaining thing I read on my Fakebook. I am so tired of politics and other bullshit. I thought that conversation was crazy.
People are so weird.
Cat Mommy ⋅ September 22, 2018
I love my friends but my husband will always come first. I don't think I could be with someone who is so emotionally involved with someone else that I matter less. That would be really hard and painful for most people I imagine. I don't care who he talks to or is friends with and vice versa but we always come first to each other.
DevilishlyInnocent Cat Mommy ⋅ September 22, 2018 (edited September 22, 2018)
Edited
And that is your opinion. I am glad that you are happy.
It makes me wonder...if someone can throw away that many years of absolute truth for a paper, what makes marriage any different? How would I trust someone after that? The only other people who come first are the kids.
But, different strokes. Thanks for noting. :-)
Cat Mommy DevilishlyInnocent ⋅ September 22, 2018
I'm sorry, I must have missed something. Who is throwing away what truth and what paper? Trust someone after what? I am so confused.
DevilishlyInnocent Cat Mommy ⋅ September 23, 2018
You said you couldn't handle a partner who was so invested in someone else.
To me, that is what married people expect, yeah?
So how I saw it was..."I have to be put first, so I am going to find someone to put me first and hope for the best."
I have had a couple partners give me the ultimatum and it makes me wonder how I could ever trust someone who wants loyalty and truth, but on their terms. Not for me. May work everywhere else. Just not here.
Cat Mommy DevilishlyInnocent ⋅ September 23, 2018
I never thought of it that way (I HAVE to be put first, that wasn't my goal), it's just the way I am. Why be married to someone who thinks you're less important? I don't see the point in a partner who thinks your thoughts and feelings aren't a priority. I think of marriage or any long term relationship as a partnership and how can you be true partners if you aren't equal in each other's lives? It's just a couple people who aren't a priority for one another.
PS: I'm not pro-marriage. We got married for immigration purposes. We'd still be unmarried but that wasn't an option if we wanted to spend our lives together.
DevilishlyInnocent Cat Mommy ⋅ September 23, 2018
As long as you're happy!
I just laugh. My best friend's current lady is cool. She knows we are just friends so she doesn't throw a bitch fit. Its awesome.
Steph ⋅ September 23, 2018
Best friends and a husband or wife don't have to complete. I'm not sure why your relationship with your bff has to be all or nothing.
It sounds like you take pride in coming first. Are you sure there are no feelings there? If he doesn't have feelings, he just hasn't met the right female yet who WILL come first. It's the way life usually works. Maybe you two should be together...even twins are able to have marriages and I'm pretty sure they are closer than friends.
I love my bff but i love my husband and my family comes first usually. But my bff and i have been together for 33 years so its not like she got tossed aside. We are very close. And in some instances I will drop everything to be with her. And in others my family will get chosen.
I'm not sure how either of you will settle down with someone (if that's what you want) when you come right out of the gate with "you will never be enough, you will never come first"
Seems extreme and seems like YOU are just like those women who say my man better not talk to another woman. Only its "don't ever think you'll come close to being as important as me"
DevilishlyInnocent Steph ⋅ September 23, 2018
LOL No. As far as "settling down", I don't require another person to define me or fill a void or conform to societal standards.
I will address this in an entry.
Steph DevilishlyInnocent ⋅ September 24, 2018
We'll see if your entry actually says anything because your replies don't.
DevilishlyInnocent Steph ⋅ September 24, 2018
LOL Well, that's your issue if you think that. I am direct so I don't know how that could've been any simpler. Other people understood. People will always see what they want to see. You didn't like the entry, made it a point to leave a comment, so of course you will be close-minded and find every single way to be negative.
So, agree to disagree with me and have a happy day.
Deleted user ⋅ September 23, 2018
I don't think anyone should be able to tell anyone else who they can speak to/be friends with. That said, if someone I cared about and respected pulled me aside and explained why my friendship with XYZ bothered them so much, I would listen carefully and make a decision based on that. If I was holding someone back, even inadvertently, I would likely pull myself away gently so that person could have a life but make it known that I will always be there for them. Relationships are crazy difficult even under the best of circumstances. LOVE YOU LADY
DevilishlyInnocent Deleted user ⋅ September 24, 2018
Oh yeah. This I know. That is why I am now happily single. Took a bit to work my way through the ex, but now, I am glad. Though Larry never did question BFF or feel any kind of threatened by him. Oh well. Life. Love you too!