A fun one (maaaaybe but unlikely NSFW) in Book Five: Working Through the Maze 2018

So my first entry today was about house hunting and relationships and life… dense.
My second entry today was about how I could be a badass if I was fictional… because people suck and IRL they are usually allowed to suck; but I believe, however fictional it might be, that we can all work towards a world where people generally suck less.
My third entry today was about how it PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH when people try to use the police and the Criminal Courts to settle their petty junior high level bullshit. I mean, seriously… I thought I had emotional issues? FUCK! Do you know how many adults genuinely live their lives with the emotional maturity of a 13 year old?! It is abysmal!!

So… I came home. Worked for an additional 3 hours. Had dinner. Felt fatter. Drank a little. AND NOW?

I’m horny. And not emotionally horny, which yes is a thing for me. Because… I’m naked (God save the living alone part for that… I’ll have to have a Naked Room in the house or something) and I am absolutely disgusted with my gut and tits. If my fat distributed itself elsewhere besides my torso… maybe a different conversation. But when I expand it ALL goes to my stomach, then my tits, then remainder to my face. So I’m not feeling especially attractive. AND YET… I want to fuck til the break of dawn, baby got it goin’ on, a lot of simps won’t like this song, cuz they like to hit and quit it, and I like to stay and play!

Obviously, I can’t. My wife is not in this city and I have not found anyone that would be a suitable mistress if I were into that. So… like the puppeteer said to his sexy puppet… I guess it’s just you, me, and my hand, baby!

But honestly it provides us with an interesting opportunity to consider the possible alternative outcomes. SO… I’m feeling very down about my appearance. I also wish to have sexy times. Were my wife ACTUALLY here… our past indicates that I would try for sexy times, she would say no, likely commenting about my weight in the process, and I would be left sitting on a couch… blue balled and even more depressed about my weight gain. As uncomfortable as it might be, this too is something that should certainly be brought up in counseling.

SEE, dammit, there I go again. I was going to be all funny and horny and “OOoo, fat guy naked looking for a place for his penis! OooOoOOoOOooOoO” and then I go and turn it into something reflective and serious. That is honestly another reason why GO FOR HOUSE. When I’m entertaining guests, I’m entertaining. I’m funny and pithy and fun to be around. You sit me down with just myself and I’m thoughtful, introspective, reflective, and… less fun. So… I’m going to go lube my fat up with silly string, roll around on bubble wrap, and belch the Divinyl’s “Touch Myself.” Toodles!