2 entries in one day?? in 2018

I’m going to try the speak to text thing On this website to see if it works because if it does I’m going to use it more often, I find it easier to speak out loud rather than sit down and take a minute to type things out.

Oh good it works. Things pop into my head and I often forget absolutely everything by the time I sit down to write it out.

I’m going through a lot right now and I think that I’ve just finally admitted to myself that I actually do need to seek help for my depression and anxiety. I’m barely able to even walk into a grocery store at this point without mentally preparing myself before hand. I’m introverted so that’s one thing but honestly I do think that my anxiety has got such a tight grip on me now that I have to do something about it.

If I don’t seek help for that I do have to start taking care of myself better than I have been. Because all I’ve been doing lately is ignoring all the feelings that come to surface because nobody wants to fucking hear about it anyway.

I bring things up to Chris and it ends up in a fight because he really doesn’t understand what anxiety means or what it is or how it works. He has no clue and I try to explain it but because he hasn’t gone through it so he doesn’t understand. You guys know what I mean if you have people in your life that don’t understand anxiety, it’s almost impossible to try to help them understand. So it’s just something that I have to deal with alone.

Among other things

Anyway I’ll come back tomorrow and explain what’s going on with my heart condition in more detail or maybe later on today when I have more time but I’m at the grocery store right now and have to force myself to go in and get dinner for the next couple weeks. Not that I will have energy to cook it. But since this text to talk is working I think that I’ll be writing on here a lot more

Kristen <3