I don’t know why you popped into my mind tonight while I could’t sleep. It has been a while. It’s so weird how extremely connected I felt to you when we first met. I was always very guarded around married men. I never ever let them in. Ever. The fact that you hadn’t completed your divorce to your wife I had forgotten all about that while I got so swept up in you. That was a fact I 100% regret. Things could have turned out so much better for us had I not lost sight of that. Yet the responsibility to remember that was not mine.
Even after you completely abandoned me and everything we had, you still kept popping in here and there for years. I got drawn back in every time just for you to disappear again. That last time though…
You said some things to me that have haunted me. I just went back in tonight to re read some of those emails between us. They were beautiful. I so desperately want to reach back out to you. I want more of you. I know what a bad idea that is considering that I finally told you to leave me alone. I am drawn to you way too much. So long as you are married, we simply can’t be friends. We never even met in person which is another thing that makes this so weird to me.
I am just choosing to believe that we definitely met in another life and we were meant to find each other in this life. Even the smallest details of our lives are intertwined. We were so meant to be with each other. I’m not even talking about anything sexual. We were meant to be with each other in person. On the daily, we were meant to be in each others lives.
I am happy that you are once again honoring the commitment you made to your wife. I just wish the two of you could find happiness with each other. You both deserve that. You got married for a reason, please find a way to make it work.
I will always think fondly of you whenever you cross my mind. Until we meet again my friend.