I am so fucking confused by her behavior that it is literally driving me insane. I don’t know why I keep going with this. I guess it’s because I’m a fucking masochist. I don’t know. Part of me wants to join a discord server so I can meet new people.
I haven’t messaged that guy Nick at all. Maybe I should?!
I just want her to fucking acknowledge her feelings for me.
Okay, so right now I am on house party with them. So the same way she ignores me, I am doing it to her. I’m on my laptop right now. Pretending to talk to someone else.
Who cares about what I feel? I try to say something and its like nothing… I know that my tone is like dead pan right now but come on now.
My mic is lagging out I think? I dunno. So its not like I can talk anyway. It’s lagging out cause I’m downloading a fucking game to play with her and her friends. A game I wanted to play mind you. I don’t buy shit just to buy it.
She just put her messaged me about this girl Emma who is spreading shit about her. She is just there on her fucking game, talking to her friends and I’m here. I have to control my face.
I was blocking my face with my laptop. So I had to unblock my face now.
The game just finished downloading so I have to go now and go do this I guess. Get myself excluded even though we are on the same game. She does this mind you. I will be RIGHT there and her friends will interact but she goes literally around me to talk to them. If I am in her face trying to get attention, she goes “get out of my ass” or whatever. Uhh, this is a bad entry.
She is not a bad person and I wouldn’t be in love with someone who is but this shit makes me so mad. Like she can’t just fucking talk to me because she doesn’t want to have intimacy with me.
Which is cool I guess. It’s lit.
Alright here we go. I’ll write more later.
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