Warning: I'm being really dumb... in 2018
- June 26, 2018, 6:42 p.m.
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- Public
Seriously… I’m 100% aware of how dumb this is going to sound. And I can’t help it.
Yesterday I was leaving work. I realized as I was getting in my car that I had forgotten my 6 pack of coke that I’d bought earlier to bring home. So I started my car and grabbed my office keys and ran in to get it. As I was coming back down the hallway to leave, freaking F is standing there. He starts talking to me and I mentioned being at the vet that morning and he asked about my cat and then he brought up his mom and I asked how she is doing. And apparently her cancer has spread and he starts talking about being afraid of coming home and finding her and having to make the phone call that his mom is dead. Heavy stuff… so we end up hugging. I don’t remember who initiated it, but I just really didn’t want to let go. And I told him I missed hugging him and he was hugging me back and rubbing my back at the same time. And he actually looked more like himself for the first time in a long time. And we talked about hanging out sometime and hugged a couple more times before I left. I told him to just text me. He hasn’t yet and I am not going to text him first.
Yes, I know I’m getting sucked back in and it’s stupid and I deserve better and he’s too immature and just everything. I’ve had this conversation with my bff. She thinks I deserve better and while she doesn’t hate him as a person she still holds a grudge for him hurting me but will support me in whatever I decide. I get it… on the flip side, he’s the only thing that has really made me happy in the past year and I’m just still really not over it.
So fml right…
Deleted user ⋅ June 27, 2018