6/22/05 in Victim of Society

These last couple of nights have been pretty fun. Monday night me and Andrea went to some guy's house named Sergio with Jose and we all got drunk. Me and drea went for a walk and I had to go pop a squat in the bushes then we went back and layed on the cement just talking. Jose came out and told us to go inside and we watched some weird movie and Jose passed out in Andreas car. I decided to text Craig to see what he was doing and we started talking about how he wants me to give him a massage and that I could do anything I want to him and stuff and I was just like He kept saying like "no strings attached though" and stuff and I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND THAT! But I think he thinks I don't. I keep telling him though, CRAIG I know we won't be anything more then friends!!!! I was supposed to go to his house yesterday morning but I was sorta tired/hungover-ish and I wasnt in the mood for anything inimate like so I told him to hang out with me at night--which is when I'm alot more horny haha. So I went to Scotti's and we went shopping at Delux and the mall. We were trying to find weed but no luck. We went into the Motherhood Maturnity and I was like holding my stomach saying "man i cant even afford these clothes what am i going to do?" and all the people in there were looking at me all weird. haha. Then we went to find Scotti a work shirt but no luck there either......of course haha. Then she had to go to work so I went back to La Verne and fell asleep till like 8. I got up and Craig was online and Andrea texted me about camping at the beach with Craigs friends so I asked Craig if he was going but he said no cuz his ex was going to be there. Then I told my parents I was staying the night at Margots so I could go camping with everyone I ended up driving around for like an hour until finally Andrea said we werent going to the beach they were at some guys house but she didnt know directions so I kept driving around having no where to go and I was about to just go to Gils when Andrea called me again and told me to go pick up craig cuz we were all going to some guy nicks house. So I called Craig and he gave me directions and he lives in such a nice house I was kinda suprised lol. Then he gave me a Codein which is a muscle relaxer and we went over to Nicks house and his house is SOOO COOL. It's like a lil cabin in the back of his back yard and he has a huge back yard with a bunch of plants and stuff. Everyone got drunk except me and Craig cuz we were on codien but he took like 9 of them and I only had one and I already felt something lol. Then we went to this lookout point type place and I really liked being there with Craig and all his friends and I was so relaxed. The whole night though I just wanted to like wrap my arms around him but I didnt want him to get weird since his friends were around. Then we all went to Dennys and it was so funny we got these penguin masks and jose col and craig put them on and were making all these weird faces. Then Col gave me a piece of toast from someone elses table and I ate it haha. Around 3:30 I dropped off Craig and he gave me this house hug and told me to have a safe drive home. So I was driving home and he texted me and was like "so i expect that massage sometime this week" and i was like "it didnt seem like u expected ne thing at all from me tonite" and he was like "sry im just shy around girls u have to iniciate things remember" and i was like "well i didnt think u wanted me to do ne thing in front of everyone" and he was like "just no public display of affection" and i was like "no i know i mean like holding hands or me rubbing ur back or sumthing" and he was like "idk about holding hands but i dont care if u rub my back or put ur arm around me" and i was like "oh well see u have to tell me things cuz i dk wtf to iniciate with u" and he was like "u know we are just friends rite?" and i was like YES CRAIG! I KNOW WE WILL NEVER BE NE THING MORE THEN FRIENDS" and he was like "ok sweetdreams call me about the massage tomorrow b4 3 and i was like noo u have to call me and he was like ok bye" but ugh im not pissed that we wont be more then friends im pissed that he thinks i think we are more then friends. ughgughugh watever... so then me jose and andrea had no where to sleep cuz i was supposed to be at margots she was supposed to b at the beach and jose lives all the way in san bernadino so we ended up just staying at gils lol....ne waz my mom wants me to go out to breakfast with her so ttyl journal.