I Don't Know What To Say in meh...
- June 8, 2018, 2:40 p.m.
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- Public
I’ve been in a flux lately.
I’ve been wanting write for a few weeks. I said I wasn’t going to write anything until someone else does, but the thing of it is, I just didn’t want to come here and talk about other people’s shit.
I literally have nothing going on productive or otherwise in my life. People around me however have been going through and I didn’t want to come here and write about their stuff.
I didn’t want to come here and whine about my period.
Kate Spade & Anthony Bourdain’s deaths are sad and hollowing.
One of the people I follow on here has basically said that she’s planning on killing herself and that has sparked deep feelings of sadness because what do you do when someone is motivated to ending their own life? As a matter of fact, I wrote that very thing on Facebook the other day because of this. Now it’s alleged that’s how Anthony Bourdain ended his life. This brings out the “You never know what someone else is going through” crowd and it’s like keep your clichés. But still what do you do?
I have no words, no actions, no trick cards, nothing up my sleeve to make anyone better or make them know they are loved and cared for. I don’t know what to say, what to do.
That is a pretty helpless place to be in. The person who is struggling with the decision to suicide themselves, that’s even an worse place to be in. I don’t know. I just…
::heavy sighs::
Pray for all struggling with mental health issues.
Please.
Kindest regards,
Sister
Gilraent ⋅ June 10, 2018
It's weird, y'know... I was going through a tough time, and was chatting with my school friend. She was there for me, to listen, to understand, to make me feel a little better about all the shit that was going on in my life. Two days later, I got the message that she killed herself. Never once in our conversations did she let on that she was having a hard time, that she felt like she couldn't do it anymore. Not one stray word that would have made me guess. I read through that conversation over and over looking for a clue. There wasn't one to be found.
And I still feel so guilty about it. Like, I should have known. I was all "woe is me" and never asked how she was doing. ::sigh:: :(
Sister Gilraent ⋅ June 11, 2018
I usually hate to woe is me to other people. I may start and then it gets uncomfortable because I'm exposing me and my imperfections so I say, How are YOU? because nothing is ever really going on with me in my mind.
But you know, you could have asked her about herself and she could have bared her soul and felt better and still have killed herself. This is what I meant when I said they are motivated to do it. It hurts us as friends, family and others, but we just never really know what they are feeling or what their thoughts are.
That is sobering as hell...