page 1, scene 1, 554 words later in Diary

What did I do today? Well, I started off by waking up at about 2:00 AM and hanging out with my ridiculously late-streaming online friends for about four hours. That was fun. I got a chance to reconnect and catch up with those I wanted to catch up with and feel like I had at least a semblance of a social life. I used the word “semblance” today for the first time in my novel since page 85 (literally 100 pages ago), by the way. Single spaced pages. 🙂 This afternoon I decided to go to the library to give my birds a chance to take a nap and to get away from them for a couple hours, and I jumped back into it. I did a half-assed job of skimming through chapter 22 and the first two pages of chapter 23, and then I got to it and wrote 554 words. I continued right where I had left off however long ago (I could find out exactly how long it’s been but it would probably depress me so I’m not going to). My crazy character started acting crazy.

I’m just going to not think about what I’m doing and keep going with the project. Inevitably I’ll have to go back and re-read chapters as I go on, but the story has enough momentum behind it and I still love my characters (so much). I don’t need to re-read when I’m not in the mood to. But I should, because for one it’s fun and for two because I’ve forgotten things….It’s funny though. I realized that it matters to me personally what happens to my fictional characters. I thought about one such relationship today while I was re-reading chapter 22 and I felt real emotions about it, about them. It was a strange experience, especially since I haven’t written a word on it in over a year.

I’m listening to a very emotional trance track right now, by the way. It’s very distracting!

I still don’t know what I’m doing.

Right now I’m kind of obsessing about Aija and Chet…. You know, if I really want to, I could write more at any time. I don’t need to wait until the time I’ve set aside tomorrow afternoon. By the way, in case you were wondering I am more careful about my wording and the way I phrase things and say things when I’m writing as opposed to the writing I do here. Here, I let myself do whatever and write whatever, whether my grammar is gutten or schlect. This is a mind dump, for me. It’s always been that way, even since 10 years ago or however long ago it was when I was a younger, much less experienced man. I hadn’t joined Phono yet or even any band at all. My sister’s band was my first.

I’ve got nothing more to say. Basically I just wanted to check in, put down that I am back at it again when it comes to writing and I’m pretty excited about it and not stressed or pressured about it at all, and that I wasted 8 or so hours on video game related activities and woke up at a stupid time of day. Tonight I’m going to set two alarms, one for 1:30 AM and another for 2:00 AM, in case the first one doesn’t work. I asked Valerie to text me when she was going to start streaming the other night and I ended up not even hearing the notification noise and I slept until like 4:00. It was lame, I thought. I ended up putting off the yard work after all, too. Ha.

Take care.

~Lain

Last updated May 20, 2018