Poor Life Decisions in Self-Improvement, 2018

You guys. I made a very questionable life choice last night. I will talk about it eventually, but I can say for certain now that I am completely turned off by dick. Not sure if I’m even turned on by vagina, but this guy was soooooo bad performance-wise. soo sooo bad. I guess I’m talking about it now. Not eventually. Now. It was the first time I felt a hint of regret for filing for divorce. Like I wouldn’t consider my ex to be in that great of shape, but he could at least…put forth effort, hang in there, finish the job. Last night’s guy.... No effort from him, it was all me, and he seemed perfectly content with not being able to finish the job. And he was def smaller down there than my ex. I couldnt help but compare him to my ex the entire time and in each comparison, my ex won. It was destroying. And his scent. Something about his sent. Not like a body odor scent. But something about his scent almost pushed me into a panic attack. He had to go.

CLEARLY I need to stay out of any sort of sexual relationships for the time being. CLEARLY.

And do you know what he texted me this morning? He asked if the reason why I needed him to leave last night was because I was falling for him. But he didn’t want to sound cocky asking.

Uhhhhhhh the exact opposite actually.

So I’m going to continue spending quality quiet time with my dog, so that I stop breaking hearts.

Oh! Guess what I get to do tonight? I get to serve divorce papers to the husband of the woman who served my husband with our divorce papers. I joked with her the night that she served my ex that if she ever needed the favor returned, I’d be the person for the job. And now I am lol. I mean I know their marriage hasn’t been great, and they’ve been living separately for quite some time now, so as much as i was joking, it was a legit offer. So that’s going down tonight.

Tomorrow I’m going on a “Women on Water” kayaking day trip. I’m even more glad/excited I signed up for it now than I was originally when I signed up. It will be good for me. The weather is supposed to be good as well.

Does it even count as sex if the guy can’t finish? And isn’t that supposed to evoke some sort of “try harder” physiological response out of the dude? Cuz it did for me, but like I said, I was doing all of the work. And why would you think the woman was falling for you if you can’t finish? Was that a miscue from me putting forth the extra effort in an attempt to “help” you finish the job? I don’t understand communication.