I Dunno... in 2018

I have done absolutely nothing today. I know its bc I’m semi depressed from yesterday.

M has been flirting with me all week and yesterday was terrible. He stayed late and I was fixing to leave but J wanted to give me something before I left so I went to find him. I checked upstairs but F was up there and he starts talking to me. Telling me that Ren Fair is going to be cash only this year and telling me about his gf cheating on him etc. I didn’t want to hear it but I was trying to be polite and act like it didn’t bother me. He asked me how my social life is though he stumbled over the wording… like “How’s your.... social life?” I told him it was basically nonexistent. He asked if I’d seen the new Avengers movie yet and I said no I’m seeing it tomorrow night after K gets out of work. Then he asked where we were going as in what theater. It was weird… It was just not good for me… having him sit there and tell me that his gf was his worst mistake and he should have known better etc.

Afterwards I was talking to M. He made me feel a little bit better. Then J and F left for a bit and M and I continued flirting. I did a lot of touching. That part was fun.

There’s a big part of me that wanted to invite him to the movie, but I didn’t bc if he said no I’d just feel worse and if he said yes, well then I might do something stupid. And I don’t think I could go through that again.