Wednesday... in 2018

I slept so hard last night. I don’t even remember falling asleep. And I definitely didn’t want to get up this morning.

I had this stupid long meeting today. Yesterday I had to go meet with a therapist because I’m using donor sperm. The day before I had to go to the fertility clinic to give blood. They literally had 10 different tubes… and I wasn’t allowed to eat all day.

On Monday before I left to go get blood drawn, F walked by my office and waved at me. Part of me really wishes I didn’t have to see him nearly every day. It would also help if the other guys at work would just not mention him or his gf. Like it just depresses me. I need to be motivated and go home and clean, but I really just want to go to sleep. It’s not helpful at all. And I really don’t think any of them understand how I feel. Like they just expect me to be over it and move on. And I just don’t know how. And I don’t really know how to explain it. I know it was short lived and probably moved too fast, but for me anyways, something just clicked and I was just positive that this was finally it. And I was so wrong.