Butterbean in The ugly truth about making babies

After receiving a lovely note today (Thankyou!), I realised I haven’t written in ages! Just done my usual lurking about.

I’m 14 weeks + 4, we’ve had our viability scan at 7 weeks and our 12 week scan, and our little butterbean is doing well. Just the one baby, which if I’m honest I’m relieved about, I know everyone raves about how amazing twins would be but it would be a super high risk pregnancy and after the stress of actually getting pregnant, one baby is more than enough.

The viability scan was awful, I was super nervous, had barely slept the night before and dreamt about Siamese twins and babies with hydrocephalus and things so it was a relief to see just one healthy baby measuring right on track. The woman who did the scan was completely po faced and miserable which really didn’t help. I understand our scan was in the early pregnancy unit, and she probably spends a lot of her day breaking bad news to people. To my mind that would make a positive scan a moment to enjoy in your day, but regardless, we learnt that bubs was in there, in the right place, and growing well.

Our 12 week scan was fab. The lady was really sweet and happy, scanned me for ages as the baby was being naughty and not getting in a good position for the NT test. It was great because we got to see a lot of baby, we saw them stretching their arms above their head and they kept turning their head from side to side so we couldn’t get a super good profile of the baby.

We got the measurement in the end and all looked good, and I got my blood test results back and they’re all low risk too which is good to know.

I have a private scan booked in two weeks time, more so that our families could get a chance to see the baby. I’ve invited my mum and Sister and Joeys Mum and and Sister, and they’re all so excited which is really sweet. I’ve had a lot of problems with my sister in law, which is an entry in itself and one I’ll write at some point. Suffice to say, our fertility treatment working and theirs not working has driven an enormous wedge and we’re barely on speaking terms - her choice, not mine.

Symptom wise, I’ve had it all. I had a LOT of nausea, to the point I’d be rolling around on the bathroom floor every evening and fatigue like I’ve never known despite working months of night shifts. It seems to have all settled down recently, just some mild nausea on and off, and although it was bloody hard going while trying to work 13 hour days, it was also oddly reassuring.

Currently I have a new spot on my chin every morning it seems, and don’t feel very ‘glowy’, having had amazing skin since coming off birth control. Again I know it’s the hormones doing their job which is a good thing but it’s hard to embrace it as a positive side effect.

I also have a pre existing hip problem which they never quite got to the bottom of when they did investigate it. Their best guess was osteoarthritis. However, due to ligaments loosening in pregnancy, it now feels like my hip may fall out of the socket at any moment (maybe a bit dramatic......!). Actually, it’s basically just pain right inside the joint, sciatica, lower back pain, and a constant pain down the back of my right leg into my ankle. I have a physio appointment next week, my doctor has said she’s happy to sign me off work if I’m struggling. I had last week off sick, I’m on annual leave this week, and I’m back to work on Monday. I’ll see how I go once I’m back but I struggle to walk after being on it for 45/60 minutes at the moment so I’m not sure how I’ll get on with work. I think it basically depends how busy we are and if I get the chance to sit during the day. Unfortunately due to being on a ward, I can’t just duck off and have a rest if I feel I need it.

I genuinely thought the ivf would be the hard part and the pregnancy and the baby would be a lovely reward at the end of it. I’m obviously thrilled we’re having the baby and am excited for it, but so far pregnancy has been nothing like I expected, it’s been harder than I thought and I’m jealous of people who seem to sail through. I’m hoping that now some of my symptoms have eased off I’ll start feeling better, and I’m really hoping that physio can help with my hip/back problem.

So yeh, we’re hanging in there, as long as butterbean is healthy and happy that’s the main thing. I have brief moments where I wonder if my child hates me already, it’s really making me work for it!

Xx