Happy Birthday Aries. in Musings

Happy Birthday to me…

There are so many things wrong with the fact that I’m living in Puerto Rico right now…

My mom and sister aren’t here and I FaceTimed with them at 7 AM as they both sang (off tune) “Estas son las mañanitas”… the song just says this is the type of morning that King David(who is the second king, who killed Goliath) wakes up to sing for being such a valuable day and we’re singing now in ode to you and the song keeps going about how flowers bloom on this day, because you were born, how the stars shine brighter to celebrate you’re existence… it’s a beautiful song, but it’s also really sad… and I cried… and my mom and sister were upset that I was upset…

Yanni was out getting me food and a cake and whatever… and when he comes into the house he sees my face all swollen and eyes puffy and he throws everything on the counter. “What happened baby?” He said as he’s wiping my tears “why you crying?! It’s your birthday!” He said as he kissed the palms of my hands and kissed my cheeks.

And I just blurted out “I hate Puerto Rico” and as a Puerto Rican man myself, I saw his whole life collapse and he was utterly upset. “What you mean you hate Puerto Rico papi?” He said as he laid down on the bed pressing me down with him. “I just can’t stand it Yanni!” I kept blurting out “I’m a city boy, I feel lonely here, I feel so isolated, my friends, my family isn’t here and it’s my birthday!!!” I said as I wiped the tears off my eyes “I got it… but you don’t hate Puerto Rico, you’re Puerto Rican” he said pulling off his hat and holding my face to his. “You’re homesick, I’m sorry I’ve kept you here for so long baby, you can go back home whenever....” he pulled me into his body. “Can I?” I said angrily. “It’s my fucking birthday and I’m not waking up with my family!” “Yeah but you know my family is here right?” He whispered in my mouth… “Yeah but isn’t New York home to you?” I asked “Listen, I gotta be here for my family, and this is my home” he said holding me tightly against him. “Oh so now I’m engaged, with a man that considers this island home, but I met you in New York, what the fuck?” “I can’t when your irrational like this bro” he said as he held me at arms length on our bed. “I love you, my family comes even before me”

I literally jumped out of bed and showered. Cried. I get out of the shower and Victor is in the house and Yanni and him are singing happy birthday…

I blow the candles out and victor grabs me and asks me “girl why your eyes so puffy?! Is he hitting you?!” And I just sobbed.

“Victor this isn’t my home” “Ohh!” He said holding me “no baby I get it, more than you know…” and I’m sobbing and he’s just rubbing my back “you’re beyond homesick, I know—I’m happy that you’re here Andy but I don’t really understand why you have been here for so long” Victor said. “Aight he’s just being dramatic” Yanni said “What the fuck do you contribute to the house, cause I don’t see you paying rent or water!” Victor lashed out “I’m his only fucking friend here, cause all your friends are from La Perla (the ghetto) and he can’t even relate to them!”

It all came crashing down. I stopped crying seeing that Victor was super argumentative with Yanni.

We ate cake, had coffee and Victor left to go to work.

Yanni and I had a huge discussion about how I feel. And the consensus was if I feel so strongly about living in Puerto Rico then I should leave.

So bitch, I motherfucking left. I called the airport and the next flight to nyc was in an hour and 45 mins… I threw 20 underwear’s, 4 T-shirt’s and 3 jeans, 2 shoes in a carry on while my Uber got to the house and I left.

Yanni thought it was me having a temper tantrum… no the fuck it wasn’t and maybe if he wasn’t so dismissive of my feelings and not making me feel like I’m working on his time… I would’ve stayed.

I’m the Uber ride to the airport which is 15 minutes away.... he was blowing up my phone… “Andy don’t leave” “If you leave this island I’m done with you” “Babe come back” “Yo you left you’re louboutin shoes here, I’m throwing them in the pool”

I posted on Facebook that i was coming back home and I had a plethora of replies. By 4 pm I was at my friends apartment in Chelsea, drinking veuve, snorting lines of coke, and rummaging through his closet (which I found nothing in) so I had to go to my storage and pick out my birthday outfit.

One of my girlfriends heard that I was in nyc and she owns a restaurant in the flatiron district “bitch you in New York? And it’s your birthday?! I’ll set you a table and 2 bottles of champagne no charge!”
Done.
Then we ended up at this gay bar and it was a shit show.
I forgot how it felt in nyc.
Yanni FaceTimed me and I opened it and he was yelling at me. “Bro get the fuck home, you better have your ring on your finger!”
Super duper Puerto Rican and it bothered me that I was this person with him. Meek. Catering to him.

Bitch I’m an Aries and I don’t cater to anyone except myself. Hedonistic.

I hung up on him and I pulled my ring off and shoved it in my pocket.

Am I bad person? Possibly… is my fiancé an asshole for not taking my feelings into consideration absolutely… did I act impulsively, yes. Is it for my benefit? Maybe, maybe not.

My sister called me at 4 am. “Andrés!!! Where the fuck are you and why is your man calling me?!” “Ana! I’m sorry. He’s calling you cause I left him in Puerto Rico and I’m out having fun!” “Bitch you could’ve told me or your mom you were coming home, when you leaving?!” “I don’t know. I bought a one way ticket… so I’ll be here indefinitely, this is my home” I said. “You’re fucking crazy, you fucking little Aries prick. Happy birthday… you better come to my house later, I was going to mail it to you, but I was figuring out your address to Victor”

“I’ll be there. Drunk” “Don’t kill yourself wombmate, and stay away from shit you can sniff”