the weekend/monday in Who I Am

Friday was an awesome day. Got to work and immediately we were served with a breakfast! I think we did 2 maybe 3 hours of actual “work” haha it was my trainers last day before his sabbatical and so it was basically the greatest day ever for everyone involved. Also that super cute guy I work with sits next to me and finds me on breaks and stuff now, he has a great sense of humor, basically the same music taste I do, is tall, and cleancut. And now I know he has a good job soo that’s awesome right lol. His name is Colin and he is a dreambooaaat.

After work we went to this bar that is close to our work (the awesome half of our training group did) . It was awesome! we met another training group there and they were all pretty cool! I’ve met so many people in this past few weeks, I absolutely love the culture that my job creates. people are so friendly, like genuinely too. not fake and weird. I had a vodka redbull, which ended up being the drink of the night for me!

I met up with my cousin and my friend Syd at her place and we pregamed and got ready there and I gotttaaa sayyy we were all lookin p sexy I wish I got a pic of me and syd, we be lookin finneeeee lol

We got to the club, everyone else arrived and it was such an awesome night. my old bff showed up and I got to do coke with her in the bathroom which hell yeah lol then I danced with my sister and had a dope ass time!! I met a guy who bought me a shot and gave me a 20 and then took me to an ATM where he almost gave me even more money and thankfully my friends found me and took me away hahahaha

I also danced on a platform in front of a club full of people!!!

Afterwards we went and smoked a blunt at my sisters boyfriends place, left and went our separate ways. It was a dope ass night, the dj kept texting me tellin me how fine I looked so ya know. always a good time lol nothing like feelin like the dopest bitch in the place.

today at work was the most stressed ive been at that job so far. I feel like they are teaching us a lot, yet theres so much to learn. throwing me on the phones when im not ready kind of makes the company look bad IMO. But I guess ill learn. it just sucks to try to learn while people are yelling at you for not knowing things lol

I tried to shake it off but it was just that kind of day I think.

I hung out with Bobby on and off throughout the weekend. he said he’d make more of an effort to see me throughout the week. I haven’t really seen that effort. also he hasn’t texted me since like 11 this morning. I feel myself losing interest. hes very sweet and handsome but I just thing this isn’t gonna really end up anywhere. I have high standards. sue me.

I hate his sleeping/work schedule. he seems to be super into his life (which is fine, but don’t pretend like im a big part of it, if im not)

Not a huge fan of the crowd he has around. I feel like they’re terrible people and they take advantage of him bc he has a good heart. I also feel like that isn’t my problem and I shouldn’t have to tell him that. damn. I kinda feel like a coldhearted bitch sometimes.

I just accept no bullshit I guess. Idk. I’m over dating. I think I’m just gonna delete my tinder and be single forever. focus on myself. I just hate getting in my feelings about someone and then being showered with disappointment. I’m sooooo over it.

I feel like I sabotaged myself by telling matt about bobby, because now I don’t really have either of them. that’s what you get when you let your heart win.

x20000000 points for double paramore references.

lowkey depressed because I need attention. lowkey also don’t want to see anyone. don’t wanna be touched, yet need a deep tissue massage. IM SO OVER MYSELF.

Last updated April 03, 2018