Overwhelmed... in 2018

I just feel really stressed…

My sinuses are bothering me. I just finished a round of antibiotics and steroids like a week ago. Obviously that didn’t stick. Of course next month will be 5 years since my last sinus surgery. I just feel constantly in a fog. My head and face hurt and I want to sleep all the time. Bc of this, I decided yesterday to look up acupuncture places. Found a place with good reviews and made an appointment for today. Hipstery place… you go in, talk to someone about your issues, then go in a big dimly lit room, pick a recliner, take your socks and shoes off and roll up your pants and chick comes over and puts in some needles and you have a blanket and an eye cover thing and you can just go to sleep or lay there or whatever. It was nice… going back on Monday.

In other news, my house is a wreck. I need to scrub everything. Work is stressing me out a bit. Guys are stressing me out a bit. JM is not backing off and he’s driving me up the wall. He keeps just showing up where my friends and I hang out on Tuesdays like he’s invited. Yes, I invited him there like maybe twice, but that doesn’t mean you have an open invitation. He doesn’t even text me to see if I’m there, he just shows up… This past Tuesday was way fucked up. I had a dr appointment and then was picking up K, then my sister to go to this Mary Kay thing and knew I wouldn’t get to my normal hangout until at least 8:30. My ex hubby went to my house to feed my animals beforehand and then was going to our normal hangout to meet his dad apparently. So he gets there and his dad is already there and JM is just there with my ex’s dad (he had met him the week before) and the ex even told him that I probably wasn’t coming and he still just fucking stayed… who does that? Like did he ever think he was interrupting a father son hangout? And here I am thinking I’m not going to have to deal with him that night, but no… he’s just fucking there. And I’ve been trying to nicely step back and hope he gets the hint, but he’s just not. It’s like ever since I mentioned the fertility appointment he’s trying desperately to hold onto something that isn’t there. I don’t want to have to talk to him about it cause I know he’ll cry, but jesus…

V is still trying but he’s backed off a smidge. I honestly don’t remember the last time I had sex… I mean, I know it was JM and probably like 3 weeks ago, maybe 4.

My sister is renting a cabin in a few weeks and I’m probably gonna go up for a few days bc I need to get away, even if its alone.

Fertility appointment is Tuesday. K said she’d go with me. It’s just the initial consultation. Bring on the expensive tests.