3/15/2004 in Victim of Society

Whenever I watch White Oleander it makes wish I were an artist. It seems like artist's see life through a different point-of-view then other people. I wish I saw life through that point of view. I wish I could come home to my eisel and oil paints and paint away a beautiful scene. To go to the beach and set up my eisel and paint what I see. To have beautiful paintings all around my room done by me. To give my family members pieces of my artwork. To have people admire my work. It just all seems so ........so beautiful. But I don't have that. I don't have any talent. Any after school hobbies. Just my computer. Always on my computer. And I hate that. But there really isn't much else to do. I mean yeah, sometimes I go hang out with friends, or go for a walk, but usually it's always just me and my computer. Sometimes I draw. Or at least try to draw but become frustrated because it's never good. Never good like a real artist. Or I try to write. But it's never good. Never good like a real writer. I just don't have any special talents and I guess there really isn't anything I could do about it.