bottle in urges

i want to scream
i want to cry
i want to yell
i want to cuss someone out
i want to hit things
i want to punch someone’s face in
i want to smash a window
i want to kick a door down
i want to break things
i want to bleed
i want to hurt
i want to escape
i want to leave
i want to die

and yet

looking at me
you’d see a bored person
barely focused on anything
only concerned with their cat
and their music

others joke about death and suicide and depression
but
they don’t realize that the person
sitting across from them
the bored one always wearing headphones
always doodling
or reading
or on their phone
they don’t realize how much those words reflect that person’s thoughts
they don’t realize whats underneath the sleeves
whats underneath the facade

perhaps they dont care
perhaps they dont want to know
perhaps its because those
deepest darkest thoughts
are always
in a bottle