Stupid... in 2018

I’m considering doing something stupid… sadly I know it’s stupid but I can’t seem to help myself.

I haven’t spoken to F since before my surgery, so December 13th… I haven’t really said anything to him directly or even made eye contact since I’ve been back.

On the one hand I wanted to talk to M about it, but I’m not sure that’s a great idea. If I do talk to F, i really want it to be outside work. Like, I want to text him and ask how he feels about talking and meet outside work to do it because I don’t want anyone at work to know. I dunno… maybe I will talk to M about it later.

I know it’s incredibly stupid, but I still miss him.