November 6th, 2013 in "Waiting for my Petrichor"

Well I am here at my grandma's house in Laguna Woods. The weather is SO nice. I can't remember the last time I experienced good weather....And I am not looking forward to going back to 30 degrees.

I have needed to get away for a long time...I feel much better stepping away from my life for a moment. I've had a lot of time to reflect on what is going on and I've been able to relax and not worry about rushing to work or school or wherever. Rodney drove me to the airport and he surprised me by getting me a cute little pillow and blanket for on the plane. He is so thoughtful! I love him. Leaving wasn't that hard, I figured I would miss him but I didn't realize to which extent I would. I also didn't realize I would have no desire at all to contact Dave. The only thing I feel like texting him is "How is Jasper?" So that is a good thing. It means I am pulling fully way from him and wanting only R. I've also been surprised at my lack of desire to pursue other options while I am out here like I usually do. I remember feeling like So what...I am here for some fun.....and hooking up with Jarred and it being nothing except a fun time. Now I would HATE to do that and wake up feeling guilty and regretful and thinking of only R. For once I really do not want to cheat. I love this feeling. I decided it was best to see a psychic while I am here and I love the one that is in the Old School House. So after spending a really nice time catching up with Andrea, and then meeting up with Caralie and Katrina, I decided to head over to see if she was around. I didn't realize how anxious I was to speak with her until I got there and I was shaking waiting for her to let me know if she had time for a reading. She must have sensed what was going on because she said she could give me one without me having an appointment first. Whew! The reading ended up lasting an hour! Usually they are around 20 minutes. There was a lot to be said, and I learned a lot. I feel much more confident now and I know exactly what I need to do. I also feel less nervous/worried about everything from my current situation to my parents situation. The best part, she only charged me 40 bucks!

She basically said that I have two guys and a stalker. One guy she described R to a tee. Second guy was definitely Dave. "I just imagine this guy sitting on a couch watching TV and being very bitter towards you but indifferent." And obviously the stalker is Tony. I was very scared about what she said about him. She described his truck perfectly and warned me to never get into that truck with him and to keep telling him I am busy and ignoring him but not to piss him off. Then she told me that R and I will probably end up opening our own restaurant which is weird because that is R's dream! And we have talked about from everything to how it will function to how it will be decorated. She said I will be moving soon and my new living situation will be much better. She said R will be getting a substantial pay increase, but I will still be feast or famine. She also said I have various paths I want to take such as working or focusing on school and she said I can all paths because I am very ambitious. I asked about my fears of being on the street/struggling/etc. She told me I would never because I will always do what is necessary to survive even if it means working at Mc Donalds. We talked a lot about Washington and she told me I will be back there very soon. She also asked if I had an animal and I told her about Jasper and she was like HE IS YOUR BABY! And basically described my connection with him and how ruined I would be if anything happened to him. She said I need to stop being so generous with my time and money because I need to think about Jasper. She also mentioned Papa has been watching over me and that I can go to him whenever I need to. She says I should visit his grave, so I am thinking of doing that sometime this week! She also talked about my situation with my parents and she was like I see them as making not just a big mistake but a series of big mistakes and they are in big trouble. My dad was described as a shady person and my mom was described as just wanting to be taken care of and not being able to get a job. Which exactly describes them in my opinion! LoL....she also said my mom needs to be with Jeff not my dad. We shall see about that...

In other news, I am so excited for Andrea's wedding on Friday! I got my dress, which is a little big on me but we can pin it or easily shorten the straps. I also went to the mall and got some black and white converse to wear since all of us girls (besides the girls wearing cowboy boots) will be in them! The way Andrea has described everything sounds like it is going to come together very nice! I just wish I could have been around to help out with the process because I feel like a bad bridesmaid! I am glad she has a lot of girls though that have helped her out. Thursday is the rehearsal dinner and then we are getting a motel room to make the bouquets and have some drinks (not too many though because NO ONE wants to be hungover on Friday LoL) Friday the wedding is at 4 and the girls are meeting to get our hair done. It is going to be SO crazy to see Andrea in a big white dress with her hair and make up done. I can't wait! I know everything is going to turn out fantastic!