Carmen the Vampire (feeling melancholy) in Diary

I’ve just recently lost my job and I’m sitting here at the library after applying for a couple more. Most days I come here or to some other library and apply for at least one or two jobs. I’ve had one interview so far and been turned down for that position. It was a company I’d applied to before, and I was turned down years ago as well. I’m not sure what it is about me they don’t like. The interview went pretty well, actually, as far as I was concerned. Whatever. It was discouraging that day but I’ve been over it for awhile and I’m just focusing on finding something new.

As usual, I have been applying for customer service call center positions. I decided to leave collections behind for good. I’ve never worked as long as I did at a job (just over a year) as I did at Comcast where I have absolutely hated my position. My goal was to eventually find a position in another department. But it wasn’t meant to be. I’m going to start applying for food service positions too from today on (already have). I’m a big time foodie, and I’m tired of sitting in cubicles or pods and taking 150 calls a day. But it’s alright, and if I do find a job like that that I enjoy I won’t turn it down.

Surprise, surprise, I’ve started reading again, too. I spend about an hour a day reading these days, which I hadn’t done for years prior to me starting my job search. It’s been really good for me, I think. It’s made me decide to continue on with my novel and finish it, as shitty as it may be (but it’s not that bad even at its worst, in my opinion). At the same time I thought that interview had gone well. I’m not ready to jump into the writing today, but I will soon. Once I finish the three books I’m currently reading, I’ll start, or somewhere in the middle. I need a few more days to get used to language and communicating with writing ( I almost wrote ‘with words’). Yes, communicating with words. That is also a challenge for me. My OCD wants me to go back and delete that extra space but I won’t do it. :) I’m a stubborn fool. It’s true.

Starting on my novel again will require that I read it all, of course.... The reason I became inspired to write again was because of Tad Williams’s introduction to his return to the world of something or other (with Simon and Miriamele and magic and dragons). He talked about how because it had been decades since he’d written anything in this particular “world” he’d had to read all the prior books. I think he may be the original inspiration for me wanting to write anything in the first place. He has a certain something that no one else has when it comes to fantasy. Or writing in general, but it comes across best in his fantasy. Anyway…I don’t really care about any of that today but I just wanted to mention it.

I figure it’s good for the birds to stay used to being in their cages (for a few hours anyway) during the day so once I get back to work it won’t be too much of a shock for them. They seem to really like sleeping during this time and they both seem to need it. Especially Greyball, my old African Grey rescue parrot. Lucky, the much younger, tame and store-bought grey who I also love to pieces doesn’t seem to need the sleep as much, but she is very easy going and is happy. They both seem happy, these days. Happier than me, by a long shot, most times, although I might be feeling melodramatic since I didn’t get much sleep last night.

It was lots of fun hanging out with my internet friends, though. Val, Michael, Sarge. Before I join them again for the stream tonight I’m going to make sure and take a nap of some sort. Coffee only takes me so far.

Well, that’s enough for now. I just wanted to get some of that out of my system and check in. I haven’t written here because I’ve been either anxious or depressed. But it’s likely I’ll be writing more regularly since I’m coming to the library every day. Take care, everyone.