August 20th, 2013 in "Waiting for my Petrichor"

I can't believe it has been a little over a week since I left the Fern. I feel like it has been so long. Work has been stressful...I am still in training until the end of this month. We basically learn a couple sections from the menu and then we learn about a ton of beer each day. It is a lot of information to cram into my brain. We have to know every single ingredient in every dish. There are about 50 different sauces...which one comes on which!? I am trying to learn things by making acronyms like "FGCS" Fancy Grilled Cheese Sandwich comes with Fontina, Gorganzola, Cheddar, and Swiss. Each day we have a quiz on what we learned the previous day. I did really well on the first one, not so good on the last one. The quizzes are used to prepare us for our final and our final determines which shift and which sections we get, so it is kind of a big deal. I want some good shifts and sections!! I am in the evening training and there are only 6 servers. The day training has about 30 and I haven't met any of them yet, but I do like the 6 I have met. I'm glad I am doing the evening training because it would be a bit intimidating with all those other servers.

Yesterday was my school orientation and it was bullshit. Waste of my time, because all of the advisers were not available to meet with us until three and I had to be on the road to work by then so now I have to come back on Friday morning. I just want to get my schedule already! I still have no idea what I am going to be required to pay up front vs. what my loans will be covering. I think school starts in a couple weeks. Needless to say, I am not ready! I thought I was going to be very excited to start school, but instead it just feels like an extra burden on my back. There has been a lot of changes going on in my life and I need to just keep going forward. I want to get this degree and then I can decide do I leave for Washington or work on my Masters first? I have a lot of big decisions to make in the next couple of years and I just want to make the right ones that will bring me true happiness.

As for as T goes, things have only gotten more intense. I have never been through something like this before. He is...twice my age. But I cannot deny this connection we have. The situation is very complicated and I'm struggling with what exactly is going on. I trust him very much though and we have been good friends since I moved here. We talk about our future and what we want and we have very similar dreams. I think we could go far together. But in the back of my head I can't help thinking I have lost my mind and I am simply crazy. I don't want to have this situation take over my mind, especially with all the other big changes going on in my life, but I can't get him out of my head.