April 12th, 2013 in "Waiting for my Petrichor"

Well I'm writing this on my phone because I'm currently sittin in a parking lot waiting for my first counseling appointment with a new therapist. As I posted on Facebook, I was not accepted into the OTA program. It sucks because yes I know I was competitive but for once in my life I tried really hard for something seemingly impossible. I scored great on the TEAS, I enrolled in two classes, one being Anatomy which has been a good challenge for me and so far I have A's in both courses. Of course I am upset especially knowing these classes won't count for anything now and they were expensive (especially the textbooks) but I am also proud of myself for actually trying. I won't count it as a total fail because two A's sound good to me. Now it's time to go back to what I love and be strong enough to go for my BA---in English. I talked to an advisor at North Shore and he basically asked me what the heck am I doing? He strongly urged me to get of of community college and go on to a university. I think I'm ready but I am scared. I said no twice to being accepted to two different universities after applying for BA English programs and getting accepted out of fear. Yes it is what I am good at, but investing time and money into an English degree sounds so stupid in today's world of technology and business. But the advisor is right...I have to do what I love knowing I will enjoy the process. He reminded me that there are lots of different avenues to take with a BA in English and the unemployment rate is far less for those with a BA than without one. I've been so lost and I know everyone is wondering what the hell am I doing? But I think it is time to just go for it and not look back. I went to Endicott college which would be my ideal school, perfect location, small classes but very expensive. After talking to the advisor there today I realized I just won't fit in there. He said I was a very unique case and that the only others that apply there in my sort of situation are single mothers and that the majority are straight out of high school. He also said I would have to take the SATs! So I really don't think I'm a good fit for that school. No I don't want to go to salem state necessarily but you know what? It's time to accept the fact that I fit more with the population of that school and it would be much more affordable. So since I've already been accepted there last fall and didn't attend I have to reapply as a readmit so I will be talking to an advisor there soon about that. But it's time to get going ...well it's way past the time I should have gone but better late than never!