Weird sensation in 2017

6:41pm

I’m in Wisconsin now. There’s plenty to update on but I’m on my phone. I only want to write because I feel weird.

I was skimming through fb right. Just hanging out glancing since we’d just gotten back from dinner. The weird feeling in my stomach could be from eating too damn much. They feed you buckets of food around here. Seriously I wouldn’t be surprised if I gained a good 15 lbs. haha.

Anyway, I was skimming right and I saw a name I recognized, something JR had shared, and I started to read something about a lost dog named Grimm. Suddenly the name I’d seen clicked - TF’s baby momma. 😐
Only because I recognized the name of the dog. It’s the same puppy TF sent me a picture of last year after he bought it for his son for Christmas. It was weird seeing the post though. Apparently the dog was lost and the kid is devastated. But I know TF didn’t write any of that. The post is hers. And maybe that’s what made it weird.

I poked around her page. Not sure if it was available before or I’d just never looked. There were a lot of pictures of her and the kid. They seem to get along great. I remember last year TF told me his son spent the money he’d saved for a gun on a necklace for his mom. It’s sweet that they’re like that. All I know about her is the stories I’ve heard and they haven’t been good so IDK.

I guess a part of me is glad I didn’t get involved in that but it still hurts. Don’t even know why. It was just right there, what I’d always wanted, and I couldn’t have it. 😕

I hope that once I get through this year it won’t crush me so much. I don’t even know why it has lasted this long. I still feel so conflicted about it all. But I guess that’s something I’ll sort out with time. I hope so at least.

I wish I could get my head on straight.

I’m kinda frustrated and annoyed by the whole thing because I’ve never had to deal with something like this before. I don’t even know what to do anymore.

Whatever. Let’s just hope for Christmas miracles huh? 😏

rose
7:17pm