boys boys boys in Who I Am

So the other night my friend Alex (not the Alex I’m into) came over and brought his friend Austin, who’s one of Alex’s girlfriends’, friends, ex fiancés. (try to follow that one haha) so I knew OF Austin before this night. The day I met him was actually at Alex’s 21st, and I thought he was so FUCKIN SEXY. This dude is tall, dark hair, dark eyes, piercings and tattoos allll over. Oh. My. God. This dude radiates sex vibes hardcore. I just can’t handle it haha I never for a second considered I had a chance with the dude.

Well Austin and his fiance recently broke up, like a couple weeks ago. so now we are both single. And while we were all hanging out, Alex went to the bathroom and I started talking with Austin and we had a decent amount in common! When Alex got back. Austin started making direct eye contact with me. THAT look. He wanted to fuuuuck. Hellllll yeah haha I wasn’t even wearing makeup.

So they leave, and I didn’t wanna read too much into it, but Austin gives me a hug when they go, and I go to bed. About 10 minutes goes by and my phone pings with a facebook DM. I was like… no fucckkin way lol it was Austin! He was like “hey do you want some company tonight? sorry if that’s weird”

I told him not tonight bc I literally had to be up in four hours and I KNEW if that dude came over I would be on his body literally…the entire evening lol

Goddamn I hate being responsible. haha hes so fuckin hot Im totally gonna bang him.

SO I actually did end up asking Alex (Now I’m talking about the dude I’m into, from the previous entry) if he was going to Decadence still, and he was like “oh did I not tell you? I bought my tickets a while ago!”

Uhhhh. WHAT! :)
So he still wants to go with me.
This is gonna be sooo lit lol I so want this dudes heart and soul. He’s so…perfect and beautiful… <3 so hopefully I come back from Colorado on new years with a boyfriend :) that’d be tight.

I feel really weird so I think im gonna eat some food and drink some water and lie down, I definitely wanna go to the gym. I have a date tonight that im not looking forward to, the dude is way too into me and im finding each time we hang out im just not into it even more. hes nice but I cant make myself like the dude. idk. its kind of too much.

When I say hes way into me, I mean, if I don’t respond to a text he sends another one a couple hours later as like a follow up.
Shes just not that into you bro.
How do I tell him that without being mean. I kinda wanna cancel our date right now, kind of want a free meal

Im such a fuckin bitch sometimes. EHHHHHH fuck me.

I got into a big fight with my friend C that I talk about sometimes, she basically told me I didn’t care about her problems and I flat out told her that was bullshit and fucked up and it pissed me off. I ignored her calls for the rest of the evening, because I aint about that life and drama.

She called me today and we kind of smoothed it over. Idk. I cant fuck with it when people tell me I don’t care, because my ex was manipulative afff and he told me that shit too