November 16, 2017 in Journal 1

I think I may be coming out of it now, or at least I feel like I’m more able to live a healthy life despite its weight on my shoulders. I feel like I’ve found my way out a bit sooner than I usually do, but still not very soon at all. Especially being in school while this has been happening, 4 weeks is a long time to be physically and mentally incapable of taking care of myself and my studies. But, these last four weeks still don’t feel like any time at all in my mind. I, honestly, can’t remember much that has happened or things that I’ve learned in the past month. Hopefully, I can pick up the pieces and fake it until I’ve put them all back together, but the next few months are going to be difficult as I will have to work extra hard to make up for my shortcomings this fall. Not only in the area of my academics, but my financial situation as well.
Did you know it takes 6-8 weeks to get a National Insurance Number in the UK? I’ve been hired at a really cool pub, but now I have to wait 6 weeks (optimistically) until I can actually start working there. I am running out of money quick and I can’t make it myself. I’m trying to do studies that pay in cash, but it’s not really covering any living costs here in London. Plus, my university is fucking Ms. Marple when it comes to finding ways to charge me extra on every single thing. I have a few thousand dollars saved away, but my expenses until June are expected to be a bit more than that so I really don’t know how I’ll be able to get on. I would think of asking for a loan from my parents, but they are struggling themselves. California Squatter Rights are a bitch!
Anyways, for now, all I can do is do the work that I can and hope it’s enough to save my ass.

With some perspective, how important are my problems– my life– anyway? I hope “not important at all” because, otherwise, I’m really screwing up over here.